There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

The throughout

Correct article usage

Throughout

show examples

humankind, dramatic history

music

has been one of the most marvellous and exhilarating endowments that we have had.

Music

has been providing us with a tranquil or effervescent vibe depending on which circumstance we demand. To all my knowledge, traditional or adverted international

music

has had its own particular story to narrate and have identical significance. In

this

essay, I will go

further

and reaffirm my notion and demonstrate it. To embark on, choosing

music

associated with numerous verity variety of critical criteria namely culture, mood, and individual essence and sentimental status that we have been grasped by . To put it in another way, now and again we possess the burning desire to have a soothing situation and to attain

this

aim we instinctively listen to traditional

music

. Responding to

this

truth ,

this

sort of

music

has had adjacent ties with our culture that we have been nurtured with and

for

this

reason,

this

music

incorporated with

Change the pronoun

our

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conscience and essence.

Consequently

, traditional

music

can instil a delighted and elected atmosphere for people who are in the wake of inner integration and peace. On the other end of the spectrum, cutting-edge international

music

that has had a hysterical and rapturous melody and rhyme settled itself in the Youngers limelight. Adolescents and youth people have a high demand for ecstatic and thriller circumstance and

this

kind of

music

possess the ability to cater for

this

ambience

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

whom

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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. In conclusion, international initiative

music

has its own

enthusiast

Fix the agreement mistake

enthusiasts

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and

appliance

Fix the agreement mistake

appliances

show examples

predominantly among comparatively recent descendants. All aforementioned standpoints drive me to a concrete inference that any kind of

music

is extremely well-respected on the grounds that

music

Change the article

show examples

echolocation of god's grace

that is

endowed to

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

for ameliorating thornier suffering of struggling with difficulties. To my ways of thinking

music

lifts our spirit and connects our souls to an inexhaustible inspirational, spiritual and rosy source of energy that we call god , and god

back

Replace the word

backs

show examples

our sensation to prop up against soul-destroying

phenomenon

Fix the agreement mistake

phenomena

show examples

Submitted by nimalizadeh.ir on Thu Nov 30 2023

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Provide specific examples to support arguments. General statements should be substantiated to show real-world implications and relevance.

coherence cohesion

Focus on tying ideas together with clear, logical connections. Use cohesive devices effectively, but with variety and accuracy.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

338 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give you.

Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem that may lead to the extinction of animal life. What are the causes of deforestation and what can be done to reduce its dangers?

Some children spend every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Topic: robots and AI technology are increasing being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?