Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, people have different opinions on whether citizens should be mainly competitive or cooperative in daily life. In my viewpoint, despite a few advantages that
cooperation
can bring, allowing competition to exist normally in our lives is a better choice as long as both enterprise development and technological innovation are concerned.
First and foremost, creating competitive working environments promotes companies to be more active and promising. To be more specific, the leaders would be able to choose someone with excellent skills more easily through the competitions. Take Huawei for example
, which is a huge IT company in China, its leader always encourages staff to work hard to fight for higher job positions with better income, as a result
, the whole enterprise is now becoming more famous and fostering quickly because of the excellent staff. Thus
it's positive for enterprises to make the working process quite competitive, standing at the perspective of future development.
Furthermore
, the competitive behaviours between countries are the key factors that prompt technology innovation under certain situations. Take the case of the Cold War: after World War II, both America and Russia were trying to lead the whole world, with the aim of exceeding the other, these two countries put a lot of money and human resources into technological development and invented several new technologies, whose effects even haven't been consumed perfectly today.
However
, the opponents illustrate their attitude that cooperation
is a more feasible choice for humans as under the pressure of competitive surroundings for a long time is absolutely harmful to our health. To be honest, it's hard to deny that cooperation
can sometimes be a wise option to avoid pressure and even wars among countries in today's intensive world, but without the dangers from the exterior, human beings would be more likely to die because the old saying in ancient China: no enemies, no one wants to build up a strong country because of the guilty inside satisfaction.
Based on the statement and analysis above, despite some small positive aspects that cooperation
can bring, the advantages of being competitive obviously outweigh the former. In addition
, it can be predicted that teachers will instil more important relevant knowledge in students in the future.Submitted by Phigros666 on
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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear response to the prompt, it could benefit from a slightly deeper exploration of the 'cooperation' viewpoint. Including more examples or elaborating on the benefits of cooperation could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clear and relevant to the topic. However, consider tightening up some sections to avoid redundancy and ensure every sentence adds value to your argument. Additionally, be careful with small grammatical errors and word choices to ensure clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that are logically ordered, and a concluding paragraph that summarises the main points effectively.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the Huawei company and the Cold War, strengthens your argument and provides concrete evidence to back up your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.