21. In many parts of the world, more and more large supermarkets are opening and smaller local shops are closing down. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages for local people?
Recently more massive supermarkets are making their way into
the
general consumerism. They are preferred Correct article usage
apply
than
the smaller local Change preposition
to
markets
, which makes them to
shut down. Change the verb form
apply
This
rapid change contributes to more of a disadvantage to local individuals, then
an advantage, because of the fact that many Correct your spelling
than
people
are losing their jobs by removing the owned stores
. Certainly
there are a few reasons why these Add a comma
Certainly,
difference
in the market may make most Fix the agreement mistake
differences
of
Change preposition
apply
people
’s lives easier. This
essay will discuss both views.
We have some may argue I hold the believe that closing community markets
has more cons than pros dot financial laws may appear by preferring larger shops of choice. Popularised stores
are
are Unnecessary verb
apply
also
key far-away, places and more often not easily accessible to the general masses. People
are most likely going to need some kind of transportation to get to the destination, which also
makes importing of
the selected items and groceries harder if you don’t own a car. Change preposition
apply
for instance
, Bulgaria’s enormous chain markets
are always hard to reach because of their location, that
makes it harder for elderly Correct pronoun usage
which
people
to be satisfied and get everything that they need.
Although
the shutting down has some challenges, having an available large food market is also
helpful. One reason is the attainable options which are provided by the markets
. Everything is put on display from cosmetics to essential products to even food choices. Smaller stores
do not have the capability to sell that much
variations of products, Correct quantifier usage
many
for example
, the enormous food, selling
chain in Bulgaria, called Metro has items going from home necessities to alive seafood, ready to be cooked, Correct your spelling
food-selling
stored
in water tanks.
In conclusion, Correct word choice
and stored
while
there may be some pros and cons in the said statement. I surely believe that by removing local stores
a number of people
will fall into a financial crisis, which will only harm elderly people
who don’t have the needed requirements to own a bigger place, or it will be a huge loss to society by itself.Submitted by kiarayulisivova on
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Task Achievement
The essay shows some understanding of the task, but it does not explore both advantages and disadvantages of the development in equal measure nor does it present a clear position throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas being presented in a somewhat disjointed manner. Ideas and paragraphs should flow logically from one to the next through the skillful use of cohesive devices and appropriate paragraphing.
Task Achievement
Specific examples, while present, are not fully developed and do not effectively support the points being made. More detailed and relevant examples could strengthen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but not fully effective. The introduction should more clearly state the topic and preview the main points, while the conclusion should effectively summarize the argument without introducing new ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Grammatical errors and unclear expressions are present throughout the essay, and these significantly hinder communication. Proofreading to eliminate errors and working on sentence construction would benefit the coherence and quality of the essay.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...