21. In many parts of the world, more and more large supermarkets are opening and smaller local shops are closing down. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages for local people?

Recently more massive supermarkets are making their way into

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

general consumerism. They are preferred

than

Change preposition

show examples

the smaller local

markets

Use synonyms

, which makes them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

shut down.

This

Linking Words

rapid change contributes to more of a disadvantage to local individuals,

Linking Words

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

an advantage, because of the fact that many

people

Use synonyms

are losing their jobs by removing the owned

stores

Use synonyms

Certainly

Add a comma

Certainly,

show examples

there are a few reasons why these

difference

Fix the agreement mistake

differences

show examples

in the market may make most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

’s lives easier.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views. We have some may argue I hold the believe that closing community

markets

Use synonyms

has more cons than pros dot financial laws may appear by preferring larger shops of choice. Popularised

stores

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

are

also

Linking Words

key far-away, places and more often not easily accessible to the general masses.

People

Use synonyms

are most likely going to need some kind of transportation to get to the destination, which

also

Linking Words

makes importing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the selected items and groceries harder if you don’t own a car.

for instance

Linking Words

, Bulgaria’s enormous chain

markets

Use synonyms

are always hard to reach because of their location,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

makes it harder for elderly

people

Use synonyms

to be satisfied and get everything that they need.

Although

Linking Words

the shutting down has some challenges, having an available large food market is

also

Linking Words

helpful. One reason is the attainable options which are provided by the

markets

Use synonyms

. Everything is put on display from cosmetics to essential products to even food choices. Smaller

stores

Use synonyms

do not have the capability to sell that

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

variations of products,

for example

Linking Words

, the enormous

food, selling

Correct your spelling

food-selling

chain in Bulgaria, called Metro has items going from home necessities to alive seafood, ready to be cooked,

stored

Correct word choice

and stored

show examples

in water tanks. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

there may be some pros and cons in the said statement. I surely believe that by removing local

stores

Use synonyms

a number of

people

Use synonyms

will fall into a financial crisis, which will only harm elderly

people

Use synonyms

who don’t have the needed requirements to own a bigger place, or it will be a huge loss to society by itself.

kiarayulisivova

Nov 30, 2023

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Task Achievement

The essay shows some understanding of the task, but it does not explore both advantages and disadvantages of the development in equal measure nor does it present a clear position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas being presented in a somewhat disjointed manner. Ideas and paragraphs should flow logically from one to the next through the skillful use of cohesive devices and appropriate paragraphing.

Task Achievement

Specific examples, while present, are not fully developed and do not effectively support the points being made. More detailed and relevant examples could strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present but not fully effective. The introduction should more clearly state the topic and preview the main points, while the conclusion should effectively summarize the argument without introducing new ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Grammatical errors and unclear expressions are present throughout the essay, and these significantly hinder communication. Proofreading to eliminate errors and working on sentence construction would benefit the coherence and quality of the essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

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In some countries students must pay their own college and university fees, but in others the government pays. Do the advantages of using government money for college and university fees outweigh the advantages

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