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Band 4

6.What skills will you need to develop to prepare for this career?

#skills #career
After finishing my degree and my studies, I plan to work in an international company or in a large corporation for the first 2 to 5 years.
This
 decision aims to afford me a better knowledge and understanding of the business industry relevant to my field. My intention is during
this
 period of time, I will be able to become a true expert in my role within the sector, Once I have improved my skills, I will start improving other aspects that are important for my profession. Afterwards, I will try to expand my knowledge in other related areas, in
this
 way, I can understand and carry out more activities and work in the business and finance industry. The long-term goal encompasses the establishment of my own business, where I would like to gain and cultivate a reputation on an international scale.
This
 will take several years, with the need for continuous learning and professional growth in the field.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your essay clearly with distinct paragraphs each having a clear central topic, ensuring that the introduction and conclusion are effectively signaling the beginning and end of the essay.
task achievement
While you have provided an overall response to the prompt, you can improve by directly addressing the specific skills required for your future career in more detail and with clearer examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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