What key criteria does your target company use in their recruitment process?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Collaboration and interpersonal skills are crucial.Working in investment banking often involves collaboration with other experts and colleagues, so effective communication is essential.
This
Linking Words
is because many decision-making and idea-generation are originated from teamwork and cooperation among individuals. At the university, there were many teamwork projects, so it was essential the collaborate with classmates.
Also
Linking Words
, the job experience that I had, normally related to customer service, so I needed to listen to what the clients were looking for, and find the best product that fitted their requirements,
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
collaboration with the other workers was crucial
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since some work only can be done it with the help of others
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion
You should include a clear introduction and conclusion to provide context and summarize your key points.
logical structure
Your essay lacks a logical progression of ideas. Use paragraphs and transitions to guide the reader through your argument.
supported main points
Develop your main points further by including more specific examples and explanations.
task response
Make sure you address the prompt directly and stay on topic throughout your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas further to better meet the task requirements.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples relevant to the recruitment process to support your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: