Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the influence of Television takes the hobby out of individuals,
as well as
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keeps them away from interaction with others. I fully agree with
this
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statement, and I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
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, the advancement of technology has provided a way of life for people more conveniently and comfortably. A multitude of
TV
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industries has been constantly growing for many years. People spend a huge of
time
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watching and following
TV
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programs.
As a result
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, they have lost the opportunity to do some good actions in their lives, including some activities that improve themselves to be better.
For example
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,
instead
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of spending
time
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after school to do and revise lessons, most students use
this
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occasion to watch and follow
TV
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programs.
Secondly
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, numerous citizens have dedicated theirs to
TV
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channels. They are familiars with
TV
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screens. They do not have
time
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to build good relationships with their families, friends, colleagues and so on.
Furthermore
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, they are more likely to be a lazy person which makes them procrastinate other actions.
For instance
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, when children have poor interaction with their family, they tend to waste hours doing some movement that have less benefit,
this
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finally
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leads to a loss lot of advantages for the family. In conclusion, Television takes much
time
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from the way of life of people, which makes them lose more
time
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in order to do good exercise and establish a great relationship with the members of society.
Moreover
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, among young generations, they are more likely to procrastinate in their lives.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with additional supporting details to enhance their impact. Your essay would benefit from a more thorough exploration of each point presented.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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