Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Economics
Use synonyms
is undoubtedly an important part of the growth of a country,
however
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, some people claim that the quick development of
economics
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would cause serious problems
such
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as the loss of social values. The prosperity in
economics
Use synonyms
greatly improves individuals’ life quality in many ways.
Firstly
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, the increasing amount of expenditure dramatically raises the tax revenue collected by governments.
This
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revenue can be used effectively to enhance the infrastructure in cities, which contributes to the improvement of individuals’ lives. More specifically,
electric
Correct article usage
an electric
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network,
transport
Correct word choice
and transport
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system can be established to meet individuals’ daily needs, scale of schools and apartments can be expanded to ensure more opportunities for not only children but
also
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workers.
Moreover
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, the increasing funding for technological innovations can
also
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be taken into account.
According to
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the long history of human beings, innovations have always promoted the progress of society. Machines liberated labour, phones convenient communications,
vehicles
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and vehicles
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significantly shortened the time needed for us to travel.
However
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, an opposite voice declares that some problems
also
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appear as the result of rapid financial advancement. A higher speed of economic growth requires a higher working intensity. Nowadays, even the 996 work schedule appears, which means workers have to work twelve hours a day, six days a week. The heavy agenda reduces the time that can be spent on recreation or entertainment, causing a serious stress issue, and it can
also
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cause physical issues for employees.
In addition
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, individuals always connect happiness with income,
in other words
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, with their consumption level, because more money earned means more commodities are able to be purchased and the substances owned create a consolidated foundation for daily lives.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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opinion can be superficial and obey the social value. In traditional social values, happiness can be generated through not only materials in real lives, but
also
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spirits created by relationships, social identities, and even self-achievements. In conclusion,
although
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it is admittedly that a speed up development in
economics
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has its drawbacks both physical and mental, economic development is the general tendency of the world and can provide numerous benefits that outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by felixdai89 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs.
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Your essay could benefit from a more explicit thesis statement that outlines your stance on the issue.
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Make sure to directly address the question and clearly communicate the advantages and disadvantages throughout your essay.
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Incorporate relevant examples to substantiate your main points and strengthen the impact of your argument.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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