Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

It is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
fact that nowadays young
people
are affected easily by their
peer
friends’
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
while
there are some arguments that it brings many disadvantages.
This
essay will analyze why I believe that the inconveniences of
this
are outweighed by its merits. On the one hand,
peer
pressure
brings a host of drawbacks. First and foremost, when
people
are under
peer
pressure
, they usually feel
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
, frustrated and disappointed
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
themselves.
This
is because of the fact that looking at other's success might make them feel
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
and even consider themselves failures. Another compelling idea is that they might doubt their abilities when doing something
that is
harder. A very important point to consider is that when seeing their
peer
people
's success, they may have negative thoughts that only outstanding
people
can surpass challenges
except
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
This
will make them "real failures".
On the other hand
, I believe that in spite of the downsides given above, the benefits are more significant. The primary reason is that
peer
pressure
also
gives them motivation to try their best and surpass their limits.
For instance
,
peer
pressure
has created a competitive environment for
people
to challenge themselves, so they will build ambitions and passions of being
champion
Fix the agreement mistake
champions
show examples
for themselves.
Furthermore
, when they join
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a group of good
people
, they can be nice
people
like their friends. To illustrate, when they have good friends, they may see and learn their friends’
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. In
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long run, they will have good habits and
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will
be better versions
Change the verb form
be better versioned
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
this
trend is not without disadvantages, the advantages will be far more significant if
people
have willing hearts and ambitions. By considering all the pros and cons,
people
will make the best decisions for themselves.
Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The structure is present, but transitions can be improved for better logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with specific examples and clear explanation to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the task by discussing both sides of the argument comprehensively and providing a clear opinion on the matter.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary to enhance the complexity and precision of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing paragraphs that focus on a single main idea with clearly connected supporting sentences.
task achievement
Include a conclusion that effectively summarizes your position and the key points discussed in the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • behavior
  • age group
  • peer pressure
  • distinct
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • motivate
  • excel
  • positive behaviors
  • substance abuse
  • bullying
  • risky activities
  • belonging
  • acceptance
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • low self-esteem
  • conform
  • individuality
  • personal growth
  • decision-making skills
  • situations
  • resist
  • healthy balance
  • personal development
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