IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Nowadays, people in most countries decide to have a children later in life. Why do they do so? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #countries #children #life #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying that the trend of having
children
Use synonyms
 at older ages is becoming increasingly common worldwide, driven by various factors. Most people support
this
Linking Words
 trend
due to
Linking Words
 its many advantages;
however
Linking Words
, some emphasize its drawbacks. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. Starting with the benefits, one of the most significant advantages is the maturity of older
parents
Use synonyms
, which can profoundly affect their parenting style.
For instance
Linking Words
, they often have more opportunities to educate themselves and learn effective ways to raise the next generation. Another notable benefit is the financial stability that many
parents
Use synonyms
 achieve in their later years. Those with fewer financial challenges can provide excellent opportunities for their
children
Use synonyms
 in terms of academics and career development, helping to secure a bright future. On the flip side, there are notable drawbacks associated with older parenthood.
First,
Linking Words
younger
parents
Use synonyms
 who lack a stable career and income may inadvertently create challenges for their
children
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the age gap between
parents
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
 can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts within the family.
For example
Linking Words
, differences in values and interests can create tension.
Finally
Linking Words
, the potential loss of older
parents
Use synonyms
 during the teenage or young adult years poses a significant emotional challenge, often leading to mental health issues and trauma. In conclusion, the complexities of having
children
Use synonyms
 at an older age cannot be overlooked. It presents a mix of both benefits and challenges. In my opinion, we should carefully consider both the pros and cons without underestimating their impact.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure your essays are well-organized with clear paragraphs. Try to make transitions between ideas even more seamless to improve coherence.
task achievement
Include more varied and specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both strong and clearly summarize the essay's main points.
task achievement
Your response addresses the prompt fully, covering both the reasons for the trend and weighing the advantages and disadvantages comprehensively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: