Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society

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It is argued that young from 14 to around 18 must help in voluntary

activities

Use synonyms

during their free time,

for

Change preposition

show examples

contribute and try to have a better local

community

Use synonyms

. Personally, I think that it could be a good idea, but I don’t think

that is

Linking Words

essential for the well-being of

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

community

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, that proposal could have benefits for both,

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

community

Use synonyms

and for the teenager who performs the activity. In our days, teenager have a lot of free time, and

instead

Linking Words

of playing video games or

watch

Wrong verb form

watching

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

TV, they can do some

activities

Use synonyms

that could help

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

and their personal performance.

For example

Linking Words

, they can help in environmental

activities

Use synonyms

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is a popular subject in

this

Linking Words

century. To help the

community

Use synonyms

Change preposition

with

show examples

environmental things, they can participate in garbage collection events around the city or go to green spaces to pick up garbage.

This

Linking Words

will help

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

environment, you will be happy and mentally stable because you will have performed an exemplary activity, and it is good for your future because you will live on

this

Linking Words

planet. The following,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can be helping in volunteer projects

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

participating in non-profit organizations, collaborating in

community

Use synonyms

projects,

helping

Correct word choice

or helping

show examples

in animal shelters or care centres for the elderly. In brief,

participate

Wrong verb form

participating

show examples

in volunteer organisations can

also

Linking Words

be positive for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

along with

Linking Words

doing

this

Linking Words

type of

Use synonyms

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

that can later help you in your curriculum,

therefore

Linking Words

it is

also

Linking Words

good for your personal development. In conclusion, if

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adolescents realise

this

Linking Words

type of voluntary

Use synonyms

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

, it is very good for all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

, including animals and is

also

Linking Words

interesting for their personal development and their future.

However

Linking Words

, I don’t think

that is

Linking Words

essential, and every teenager can do what he or she wants.

Submitted by santos_dij on Fri Dec 01 2023

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introduction conclusion present

The essay lacks a clear and strong introduction that outlines the writer's viewpoint; it's necessary to state whether you 'agree' or 'disagree' more clearly. The conclusion is quite weak and repeats the idea without giving a final, decisive statement on your view. I recommend working on a stronger thesis statement and a conclusive final paragraph that summarises your argument effectively.

logical structure

Your essay's structure is confusing and paragraphs seem to contain multiple ideas without a clear central topic. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea that supports your argument. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.

supported main points

While you have attempted to support your main points, it's crucial to provide specific, detailed examples for each point you make. This helps to illustrate and strengthen your argument. To enhance your writing, include at least one specific example per paragraph.

complete response

Your response only somewhat answers the prompt and your position is not clear throughout the essay. A complete response must take a clear stance on the issue and address both sides of the argument consistently. Refine your position and ensure your essay develops that position more comprehensively across all paragraphs.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas presented are somewhat generic and lack depth. To achieve a higher score, expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and rationales. Show how the activities you mention directly benefit both the teenager and the community.

relevant specific examples

The examples given are relevant, but lack specificity and depth. Instead of general statements, use concrete examples that are directly related to the teenagers and local community to illustrate your points more effectively.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobsfor personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.