Environmental issues such as climate change have always been an international problem because governments are not imposing harsh punishments against offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.
Environment
Plays a key role in the health and wellness of a human's life. Nowadays life become so busy that nobody has time to check whether the environment
in which he or she breathes is clean or not. Everybody is in a great hustle and running after money and career and this
human behaviour is alarming for today's generation as well as
for our future population. I strongly agree with the fact that the negative environmental changes are due to
the negligence of the government
to impose rules in regard to a clean environment
. In the following essay, I will elaborate on my point of view with suitable examples.
To begin
with, I would like to discuss today's air
quality which is so poor according to
the weather meter and it is just because of the human created mess through their car's engines and industrial smoke realised in the open air
. Further
, there are many more factors which pollute the air
. People
and at the same time government
officials who were responsible for the check and balance of the air
quality ignored them with great negligence. For instance
, Today when I was out and on my route to my office I saw so many cars that were in great need of maintenance and realised so much black smoke in the air
I saw so many wardens were
there on my whole route and noticed no one was bothering to catch them or even warned them to make their cars fit.
Unnecessary verb
apply
Furthermore
, I was discussing this
issue with one of my close friends who is also
an employee of the National clothing textile industry and he told me that they (the Industry) on a daily basis realise tons of dirty water in the nearby lakes without any hesitation because there is no check and balance by the government
so they do not bother to find any proper channel to release such
mess and openly dispose of them in lakes and became the killer of so many innocent little water creatures.
I strongly condemn the ignorant behaviour of the general population and government
for this
harm to the environment
which might not be so critical yet but certainly, destroy the tranquillity of nature in the coming years. At least the government
should take some serious steps to control this
polluted situation which is becoming worse day by day. I also
believe that it is the responsibility of every individual to take part in making the environment
clean by putting a little effort into their end.Submitted by ramisha.ejaz23 on
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coherence cohesion
While you have provided an introduction and a conclusion, the clarity and linkage between them could be improved. You need to make sure that the conclusion directly addresses the key points raised in the essay and succinctly summarizes your position. Avoid introducing new concepts in the conclusion that were not discussed in the body. Work on creating a tighter, more focused argument that flows naturally from beginning to end.
coherence cohesion
You have made some attempts to support your ideas with examples and elaborations. However, the depth and relevance of your illustrations could be enhanced. Make sure that your examples are directly related to the points you are trying to make and help to convincingly support your argument. Additionally, specific, concrete examples would help strengthen your essay, rather than generic statements that do not add substantial weight to your argument.
Your essay addresses the topic in a general sense; however, you have room to provide a more complete and nuanced response. The anslysis of why governments may be failing to impose harsh punishments and how this directly influences environmental problems like climate change was somewhat superficial. Provide a clearer exposition of the connection between governmental inadequacy in punitive measures and the impact on environmental issues. Also, ensure that your essay thoroughly responds to the entirety of the prompt, including discussing the
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.