Some people say that to reduce crime there should be longer prison sentences. However, others believe that there are other better ways. Discuss give own opinion

#people #crime #prison #sentences

Nowadays an

increasingly

Change the adverb

increasing

show examples

number of people are becoming concerned about

reduce

Change the verb form

reducing

show examples

crime

should be longer

prison

sentences

. There are two diametrically opposed opinions on the matter. Some people assert that

should

Correct pronoun usage

there should

show examples

be longer

prison

Fix the agreement mistake

prisons

show examples

while

others state that

thera

Correct your spelling

there

are other better ways. In the forthcoming lines of

this

essay

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essay,

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I shall discuss both sides of the argument, and explain why I am in complete agreement with the latter

wievpoint

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

. First and foremost thing that some people feel

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

that to reduce

crime

there should be longer

prison

sentences

.They are must

punished

Change the verb form

be punished

show examples

by the government. Supports of longer

prison

sentences

argue that

this

approach serves as a deterrent to potential

criminals

. In

additionally

Replace the word

addition

show examples

should

Correct pronoun usage

there should

show examples

not be permission

meeting

Change the verb form

to meet

show examples

their family members.

For example

, in the UK

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

not allowed

meeting

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to meet

show examples

with family

during

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

in order to deterrent for

criminals

.Personally, I believe that if reduce

crime

should be

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

prison

sentence they may

can

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

not

Verb problem

commit

show examples

other crimes.

On the other hand

, it is

also

possible to mention that there are other better ways for

criminals

Criminals

are will be strong

who

Correct word choice

and

show examples

may

can

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

help

different

Change the article

a different

show examples

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

to state

Change the verb form

states

show examples

ordert

Correct your spelling

order

to employ

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

. It is of course immeasurably

benefitical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

. It should

also

be remembered that if they do not work should be add extra sentence for their errors.

For instance

, in Weast

countries

Add a comma

countries,

show examples

therw

Correct your spelling

there

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

been very hard punishments for

criminals

. In conclusion, all given information and opinions, my own opinion is that there is truth in views.

However

, even though some individuals feel that to reduce

crime

there should be longer

prison

sentences

, I contend the opposing

viewpiont

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

viewpoints

. I personally have confidence in the opinion that there are other better ways. It should be done by the government

Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on Fri Dec 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Some paragraphs in the essay seem to present ideas in a confusing manner, making it hard for the reader to follow.

coherence cohesion

Include a clear introduction that outlines the topics to be discussed and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the essay's main points. The introduction and conclusion in the essay could benefit from being more concise and clearly related to the main body of text.

coherence cohesion

Provide concrete examples and evidence to support each point being made. In this essay, the examples used were not fully developed or entirely relevant, affecting the coherence of the argument.

task achievement

Make sure to fully address the task given, including discussing both views and giving your own opinion. While the essay attempts to cover these aspects, the response is incomplete and somewhat repetitious.

task achievement

Present clear and comprehensive ideas, and develop them thoroughly. The essay should delve more deeply into the reasoning behind the points made and explore the implications of the arguments.

task achievement

When using examples, they should be specific, relevant, and add significant value to the argument. Examples should be chosen carefully to effectively illustrate your point and provide insight into the reasons behind your viewpoint.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that to reduce crime there should be longer prison sentences. However, others believe that there are other better ways. Discuss give own opinion

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels.

Some people think that it is important to have a single language as an official international language. Others think that it will make it difficult to identify countries and cause a loss of culture. what are your opinion on this?

Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

Many cities have vehicle-free day, which encourages citizens to take bus, cycle or take taxi to go out. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There is a common belief that individuals working under physical pressure should receive the same wage as educated people with diploma. Personally, I agree with this statement. A number of arguments support my opinion.