Some people say that to reduce crime there should be longer prison sentences. However, others believe that there are other better ways. Discuss give own opinion

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Nowadays an
increasingly
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increasing
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number of people are becoming concerned about
reduce
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reducing
show examples
crime
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should be longer
prison
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sentences
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. There are two diametrically opposed opinions on the matter. Some people assert that
should
Correct pronoun usage
there should
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be longer
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prison
Fix the agreement mistake
prisons
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while
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others state that
thera
Correct your spelling
there
are other better ways. In the forthcoming lines of
this
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essay
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essay,
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I shall discuss both sides of the argument, and explain why I am in complete agreement with the latter
wievpoint
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viewpoint
. First and foremost thing that some people feel
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that to reduce
crime
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there should be longer
prison
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sentences
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.They are must
punished
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be punished
show examples
by the government. Supports of longer
prison
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sentences
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argue that
this
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approach serves as a deterrent to potential
criminals
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. In
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additionally
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addition
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,
should
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there should
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not be permission
meeting
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to meet
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their family members.
For example
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, in the UK
is
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are
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not allowed
meeting
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to meet
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with family
during
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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prison
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in order to deterrent for
criminals
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.Personally, I believe that if reduce
crime
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should be
long
Correct article usage
a long
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prison
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sentence they may
can
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apply
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not
do
Verb problem
commit
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other crimes.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
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possible to mention that there are other better ways for
criminals
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.
Criminals
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are will be strong
who
Correct word choice
and
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may
can
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apply
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help
different
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a different
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kind
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kinds
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of
works
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work
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to state
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states
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in
ordert
Correct your spelling
order
to employ
Add an article
a person
the person
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person
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people
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. It is of course immeasurably
benefitical
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beneficial
for
country
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the country
show examples
. It should
also
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be remembered that if they do not work should be add extra sentence for their errors.
For instance
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, in Weast
countries
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countries,
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therw
Correct your spelling
there
had
Wrong verb form
have
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been very hard punishments for
criminals
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. In conclusion, all given information and opinions, my own opinion is that there is truth in views.
However
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, even though some individuals feel that to reduce
crime
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there should be longer
prison
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sentences
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, I contend the opposing
viewpiont
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
viewpoints
. I personally have confidence in the opinion that there are other better ways. It should be done by the government
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Some paragraphs in the essay seem to present ideas in a confusing manner, making it hard for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that outlines the topics to be discussed and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the essay's main points. The introduction and conclusion in the essay could benefit from being more concise and clearly related to the main body of text.
coherence cohesion
Provide concrete examples and evidence to support each point being made. In this essay, the examples used were not fully developed or entirely relevant, affecting the coherence of the argument.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the task given, including discussing both views and giving your own opinion. While the essay attempts to cover these aspects, the response is incomplete and somewhat repetitious.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas, and develop them thoroughly. The essay should delve more deeply into the reasoning behind the points made and explore the implications of the arguments.
task achievement
When using examples, they should be specific, relevant, and add significant value to the argument. Examples should be chosen carefully to effectively illustrate your point and provide insight into the reasons behind your viewpoint.
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