Some people say that to reduce crime there should be longer prison sentences. However, others believe that there are other better ways. Discuss give own opinion
Nowadays an
increasingly
number of people are becoming concerned about Change the adverb
increasing
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
crime
should be longer prison
sentences
. There are two diametrically opposed opinions on the matter. Some people assert that should
be longer Correct pronoun usage
there should
prison
Fix the agreement mistake
prisons
while
others state that thera
are other better ways. In the forthcoming lines of Correct your spelling
there
this
essay
I shall discuss both sides of the argument, and explain why I am in complete agreement with the latter Add a comma
essay,
wievpoint
.
First and foremost thing that some people feel Correct your spelling
viewpoint
is
that to reduce Unnecessary verb
apply
crime
there should be longer prison
sentences
.They are must punished
by the government. Supports of longer Change the verb form
be punished
prison
sentences
argue that this
approach serves as a deterrent to potential criminals
. In additionally
, Replace the word
addition
should
not be permission Correct pronoun usage
there should
meeting
their family members. Change the verb form
to meet
For example
, in the UK is
not allowed Correct subject-verb agreement
are
meeting
with family Change the verb form
to meet
during
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
prison
in order to deterrent for criminals
.Personally, I believe that if reduce crime
should be long
Correct article usage
a long
prison
sentence they may can
not Remove a modal verb
apply
do
other crimes.
Verb problem
commit
On the other hand
, it is also
possible to mention that there are other better ways for criminals
. Criminals
are will be strong who
may Correct word choice
and
can
help Remove a modal verb
apply
different
Change the article
a different
kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
to state
in Change the verb form
states
ordert
to employ Correct your spelling
order
Add an article
a person
the person
person
. It is of course immeasurably Fix the agreement mistake
people
benefitical
for Correct your spelling
beneficial
country
. It should Add an article
the country
also
be remembered that if they do not work should be add extra sentence for their errors. For instance
, in Weast countries
Add a comma
countries,
therw
Correct your spelling
there
had
been very hard punishments for Wrong verb form
have
criminals
.
In conclusion, all given information and opinions, my own opinion is that there is truth in views. However
, even though some individuals feel that to reduce crime
there should be longer prison
sentences
, I contend the opposing viewpiont
. I personally have confidence in the opinion that there are other better ways. It should be done by the governmentCorrect your spelling
viewpoint
viewpoints
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Some paragraphs in the essay seem to present ideas in a confusing manner, making it hard for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that outlines the topics to be discussed and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the essay's main points. The introduction and conclusion in the essay could benefit from being more concise and clearly related to the main body of text.
coherence cohesion
Provide concrete examples and evidence to support each point being made. In this essay, the examples used were not fully developed or entirely relevant, affecting the coherence of the argument.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the task given, including discussing both views and giving your own opinion. While the essay attempts to cover these aspects, the response is incomplete and somewhat repetitious.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas, and develop them thoroughly. The essay should delve more deeply into the reasoning behind the points made and explore the implications of the arguments.
task achievement
When using examples, they should be specific, relevant, and add significant value to the argument. Examples should be chosen carefully to effectively illustrate your point and provide insight into the reasons behind your viewpoint.
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