More and more people today are spending large amount of money on their complexions in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative progression?

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In today’s world, there is a noticeable
trend
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of people investing substantial amounts of money in their
appearance
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, with the intention of looking younger.
This
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essay aims to explore
underlying
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the underlying
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reasons behind
this
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trend
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and delves into the negative effects that
this
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trend
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has. There are several reasons behind the growing inclination to spend on maintaining a youthful
appearance
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.
Firstly
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, there is generally significant appreciation given for the youthful outlook. Youth is perceived as a symbol of beauty and freshness, which many individuals try to relate to.
Therefore
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, as long as
this
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attitude exists, people will always make an effort to look younger.
Secondly
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, advancements in medical and cosmetic technologies have made it easier and more accessible for people to pursue and achieve a more youthful
appearance
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. From non-invasive treatments like Botox and fillers to more extensive procedures like facelifts and laser treatments, the options available today cater to a wide range of preferences and budgets. In my view, the obsession with looking younger can have negative implications. One notable effect is that it can create an unhealthy fixation on external
appearance
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, leading to body image issues especially the feeling of dissatisfaction with their own bodies. In some cases, individuals with body dysmorphia may become excessively focused on perceived flaws, real or imagined, and engage in repetitive
behaviors
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behaviours
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or seek multiple cosmetic procedures in an attempt to correct or enhance their
appearance
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.
This
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can take a financial toll on their budget. Another negative aspect is the possibility of procedure failure or unsatisfactory results, despite advancements in medical technology and techniques.
For example
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, surgical procedures for a younger look can be counterproductive, resulting in unnatural or disproportionate outcomes that may be perceived as weird or unaesthetic. In conclusion, the increasing expenditure on
appearance
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to achieve a younger look can be attributed to societal expectations
,
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and technological advancements. I hold a firm belief that
this
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trend
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has the potential to foster unhealthy obsessions and financial strain.
Submitted by phongnguyenthanh630 on

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Task Achievement
While your essay features a proper introduction and conclusion, the introduction would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses both parts of the question regarding why people want to look younger and whether this trend is positive or negative.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all components of the prompt. This essay could be improved by discussing more balanced viewpoints on the trend's positive and negative aspects, as well as including more specific examples to illustrate your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good use of linking words and phrases, contributing to the overall flow and coherence. To further strengthen this, consider using a wider variety of connective words and ensure that paragraphs transition smoothly into one another.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph should revolve around a single main idea that supports your overall argument. Make sure that you are developing your main points with detailed examples and explanations, which could be more concrete and specific in this essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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