IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the total numbers of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories from 1995 to 2002.

The chart below shows the total numbers of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories from 1995 to 2002.
#numbers #minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories
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The given information presents us
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 number of three different calls in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom, from 1995-2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, local calls were the most popular whole period, in comparison with national and international and mobile calls, it is
Wrong verb form
explained
show examples
explains
Add the preposition
explains to
show examples
 us that national/international and mobile calls were in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second and third place by spent
minutes
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, local calls
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated over the period, reaching 70
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 1995,
then
Linking Words
 peaking
90
Change preposition
at 90
show examples
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 and back to the outgoing
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 2002. It is clear from the data, that national and international calls increased steadily , with just over 38
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 1995 to
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
42
Change preposition
of 42
show examples
billion
Use synonyms
 times
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 the provided information, mobile calls had dramatic changes in comparison with two other calls, reaching almost 45
billion
Use synonyms
 times in 2002 from just 1
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 1995.
In addition
Linking Words
, we can see the sharp rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 numbers in 2000 and 2001.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • telephone calls
  • total number of minutes
  • divided into categories
  • local fixed-line calls
  • national and international calls
  • mobile calls
  • steady rise
  • growing popularity
  • accessibility
  • fluctuations
  • predominant mode of communication
  • progressive increase
  • dramatic increase
  • communication patterns
  • technological changes
  • social changes
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