the table gives information about the average hours spent in the Internet by European people of different age groups.
The table above shows the
number
of women
and men of different ages who spend long hours on the Internet
in Europe.
The most important point that draws attention is people between the ages of 16-20 are the ones who use the Internet
the most, as the number
of females has reached 18 and the number
of males is one more.
From 21 onwards, it was found that the number
of male and female Internet
users began to decrease. From the age of 26 to 30, it was found that men and women
spend 4 hours on the Internet
, and this
amount is constant. Then
the number
of women
spending their time on the Internet
began to increase in the remaining two stages of life, while
the number
of males began to decrease gradually, reaching 2, while
the number
of women
increased by one, reached
3 hours among people aged 51 Wrong verb form
reaching
above
.
Correct word choice
and above
overall
, it can be seen that the highest period of internet
usage for both male
and Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
was the age range of 16 Fix the agreement mistake
females
till
20.Change preposition
to
Submitted by urudalbalushi on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, women, internet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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