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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOW THE WATER CYCLE , WHICH IS THE CONTINUOUS MOVEMENT OF WATER ON, ABOVE AND BELOW THE SURFACE OF THE EARTH.

THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOW THE WATER CYCLE , WHICH IS THE CONTINUOUS MOVEMENT OF WATER ON, ABOVE AND BELOW THE SURFACE OF THE EARTH.
The diagram
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
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the
water
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cycle
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is the non-stop development of
water
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 on, above and below the surface of the Earth.
Overall
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, the
water
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cycle
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 is
natural
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a natural
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 process and it has 3 main stages
beginnig
Correct your spelling
beginning
 with evaporation,followed by cold
prucipitation
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precipitation
 and
finally
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Correct article usage
the imprevious
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imprevious
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impervious
previous
 layer.
Firstly
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,
water
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 in the
ocean
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 is evaporation.
Apart from
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this
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 80% of
water
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 vapour in the air is from the
ocean
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. Heat causes the condensing
water
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 vapour to form clouds. In the next stage, the process called ‘precipitation occurs in which the
water
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 falls in the form of rain or snow. The final stage of the
cycle
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 is when the
water
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 takes various paths. Some
water
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form
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from
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 lakes
whereas
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 some
if
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of
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 it may travel to the
ocean
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 as groundwater.
Otherwise
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, some
water
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 may
also
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 reach the impervious layer and
then
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makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 way towards the sea.
However
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, the process of
salt
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saltwater
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water
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 intrusion takes place before the
water
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 enters the
ocean
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. Having completed all these steps, the
cycle
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then
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 begins again.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, cycle, ocean with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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