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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #adults
It is argued that
children
 should be motivated to be more competitive,
while
 others feel that teaching them to be cooperative will be of more value as they enter adulthood. I believe that
while
 competition can help young people be successful, cooperation is more important because it teaches them to
work
 within a team , a crucial interpersonal skill. Some argue that instilling a sense of competition in
children
 helps them to achieve success in whatever they do.
This
 is because being competitive creates a drive to win, which
further
 teaches them that hard
work
 and
self disciplines
Correct your spelling
self-discipline
show examples
 are keys for
such
 wins.
For example
, it is
pften
Correct your spelling
often
 the case that
children
 who
participte
Correct your spelling
participate
participated
 in competitive sports are less likely to quit when outcomes are unfavourable and difficult.
Hence
, they would be more likely to overcome obstacles and setbacks in any of their
life
 events. Despite
this
, I would argue that
children
 require
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 on teamwork more than the will to win. If
children
 are taught to be cooperative, they learn the importance of working in a team, which is
someting
Correct your spelling
something
 adults are expected to do. Through working with others,
children
 learn not only how to respect different opinions but
also
 how to pool their strengths.
For instance
, preschools include cooperation as one of the first essential skills in their curriculum.
This
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 educators recognize that it is a vital social
skills
Change the noun form
skill
show examples
 in all ways of
life
. I,
therefore
,
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that teaching
children
 to
work
 with others is more important than giving them a sense of competition. To summarize,
while
equipting
Correct your spelling
equipping
 a competitive mindset might help young people to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 in
life
, I am of the opinion that teaching them to be cooperative would grant them with ability to
work
 as part of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 team and community which is far more valuable later in
life
.
Submitted by MS Tha on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, making sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately to signal the relationship between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Each main point should be developed fully with clear explanations and more specific and relevant examples.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that you discuss both views and provide your own opinion clearly and comprehensively.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are expanded and clearly linked to the essay prompt, ensuring they are well-thought-out and not repetitive.
task achievement
Include more specific and varied examples to support your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
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