IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Your local council is planning to hold an election to choose members from the society but there are no young people on the council and you think that the council needs young people's views. You are thinking of standing for election. Write a letter to the head of the council. In your letter,

#council #election #members #society #people #head
Dear Sir, My Name is Ali , lecture at
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 of Khartoum,Concerning
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
political issues
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I am writing to you
for requesting
Change preposition
to request
show examples
 the election
me
Change preposition
of me
show examples
. I informed
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
show examples
 you
search
Wrong verb form
are searching
show examples
 for members for choosing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the next round .I recognised that all the candidates are about 40 years old ,
Therefore
,
This
 position requires a candidate from society who is younger in age .
additionally
, knowing all the conflicts and challenges around
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. I nominate myself for
this
 position for several reasons,
Firstly
 my job in the University around the most important category in society which is the youngster.
Secondly
, I know all the convenience and inconvenience matters .
Furthermore
, I have experience in leadership and communication
skillsand
Correct your spelling
skills and
 playing chess which
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 me with critical thinking .
Finally
,As I mentioned above I am
keen
Change the word
keenly
show examples
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in political issues and intellectual. I attached my resume with the letter and I hope to look forward
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 my request Faithfully yours. Ali
Submitted by enasawad68 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure to follow a clear and logical structure throughout the letter, maintaining paragraphing where each paragraph should focus on a single idea or point.
coherence cohesion
Use appropriate greetings and sign-offs in formal letters. Start with 'Dear [Title] [Surname]' and end with 'Yours faithfully,' or 'Yours sincerely,' followed by your full name.
coherence cohesion
Include a brief introduction, explaining why you are writing, then proceed with a series of well-developed paragraphs, each containing a single main idea, and conclude with an appropriate closing statement.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task ensuring that your purpose of writing is clear. Include adequate detail to develop your position and support your points with specific examples or explanations.
task achievement
Maintain a consistent and suitable tone throughout the letter, reflecting the formality of the correspondence with the head of the council. The language should be polite, proper, and respectful.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • representation
  • perspective
  • civic engagement
  • demographic diversity
  • innovative approaches
  • generational gap
  • governance
  • political awareness
  • proactive
  • grassroots
  • advocacy
  • community initiatives
  • stakeholder
  • inclusivity
  • empowerment
  • collaborative
  • constituency
  • dialogue
  • transparency
  • enfranchisement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: