IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Your local council is planning to hold an election to choose members from the society but there are no young people on the council and you think that the council needs young people's views. You are thinking of standing for election. Write a letter to the head of the council. In your letter,

#council #election #members #society #people #head
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Dear Sir, My Name is Ali , lecture at
Correct article usage
the university
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university
Capitalize word
University
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 of Khartoum,Concerning
about
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apply
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political issues
and
Correct word choice
apply
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I am writing to you
for requesting
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to request
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 the election
me
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of me
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. I informed
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
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 you
search
Wrong verb form
are searching
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 for members for choosing
to
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apply
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the next round .I recognised that all the candidates are about 40 years old ,
Therefore
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,
This
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 position requires a candidate from society who is younger in age .
additionally
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, knowing all the conflicts and challenges around
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. I nominate myself for
this
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 position for several reasons,
Firstly
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 my job in the University around the most important category in society which is the youngster.
Secondly
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, I know all the convenience and inconvenience matters .
Furthermore
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, I have experience in leadership and communication
skillsand
Correct your spelling
skills and
 playing chess which
provide
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provides
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 me with critical thinking .
Finally
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,As I mentioned above I am
keen
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keenly
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interesting
Replace the word
interested
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 in political issues and intellectual. I attached my resume with the letter and I hope to look forward
of
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to
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 my request Faithfully yours. Ali
Submitted by enasawad68 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to follow a clear and logical structure throughout the letter, maintaining paragraphing where each paragraph should focus on a single idea or point.
coherence cohesion
Use appropriate greetings and sign-offs in formal letters. Start with 'Dear [Title] [Surname]' and end with 'Yours faithfully,' or 'Yours sincerely,' followed by your full name.
coherence cohesion
Include a brief introduction, explaining why you are writing, then proceed with a series of well-developed paragraphs, each containing a single main idea, and conclude with an appropriate closing statement.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task ensuring that your purpose of writing is clear. Include adequate detail to develop your position and support your points with specific examples or explanations.
task achievement
Maintain a consistent and suitable tone throughout the letter, reflecting the formality of the correspondence with the head of the council. The language should be polite, proper, and respectful.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • representation
  • perspective
  • civic engagement
  • demographic diversity
  • innovative approaches
  • generational gap
  • governance
  • political awareness
  • proactive
  • grassroots
  • advocacy
  • community initiatives
  • stakeholder
  • inclusivity
  • empowerment
  • collaborative
  • constituency
  • dialogue
  • transparency
  • enfranchisement
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