Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
To some
people
spending governments
Change the noun form
government
money
on saving endangered animals
is not very
good idea. Add an article
a very
However
, I disagree that it is waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
money
. Because, we need to try
save all Add the particle
try to
gorgeous
things Correct article usage
the gorgeous
of
our earth, Change preposition
on
but
we Correct word choice
apply
also
have a lot of problems in
Change preposition
on
another
Correct determiner usage
the
side
of our world.
In the beginning, I Correct word choice
other side
disagree
that spending Wrong verb form
disagreed
money
to try to save small
amount of Add an article
a small
animals
, like tiger
or Fix the agreement mistake
tigers
the
blue Correct article usage
apply
whale
is now Fix the agreement mistake
whales
bad
idea and just Correct article usage
a bad
wasting
of Wrong verb form
a waste
money
. Because, nowadays
Rephrase
apply
the
governments or big companies trying to save endangered Correct article usage
apply
animals
not only because of their beautiful faces or bodies,
but for Remove the comma
apply
saving
Wrong verb form
save
people
. For example
, scientists may find ingredients to save people
from the
cancer, yet Change the article
apply
this special
Change the determiner
this special animal
these special animals
animals
is
already cleared by humans, so our government and other companies trying to save all Correct subject-verb agreement
are
animals
that can be endangered by humans. We are the reason to
endangering a lot of Change preposition
for
animals
, so we need to change it. Moreover
, the
Correct article usage
apply
animals
are part of our life
and can help Fix the agreement mistake
lives
to
us in the future.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
,some people
agree with this
statement. Because they
want to improve their lifestyle Correct word choice
They
by
the Change preposition
with
money
of governments, while
others want to attention us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
about
our Change preposition
to
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
earth
Change noun form
earth's
problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
For example
, right now Antarctica is melting and the level of water in sea
is increasing so some Add an article
the sea
people
think that it would be better to take care about
our environment. I, of course, accept Change preposition
of
this
idea, but we are already saving and trying to do our best in that way, while
only someone thinking about animals
. However
, the meaning of animals
are very important in our life
.
In conclusion, I would say that we need to think and spend our Fix the agreement mistake
lives
times
, Fix the agreement mistake
time
money
and strength to save our planet, animals
from Correct word choice
and animals
dangers
. Maybe because of Fix the agreement mistake
danger
that
helpful Correct determiner usage
those
things
we can find some healing preparations. It is all Add a comma
things,
is
possible, so we need to try Unnecessary verb
apply
all
our bestCorrect determiner usage
apply
Submitted by ronadeclaro on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should address a single idea with associated examples to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Link your ideas clearly using a range of cohesive devices. Phrases like 'furthermore,' 'however,' and 'as a result' help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses the question throughout, providing a balanced view. Both sides of the argument should be presented with corresponding examples and conclusions.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific details and real-world examples to support your arguments. Avoid making vague statements that do not directly enhance your position.
coherence cohesion
Your writing should be structurally sound with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph must contain a central idea and subsequent sentences should support this idea.
task achievement
Work on the precision of your ideas, ensuring that each paragraph fully elaborates the point it's supposed to convey. Keep your writing focused on the task.