In some countries,owining a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Owning a home has
been
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apply
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becoming increasingly recent years.
Although
,
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apply
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i think that it
consist of
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has
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some
obivious
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obvious
harmful
effect
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effects
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, I strongly
beleive
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believe
that
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the positive
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positive
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positives
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of owning a home can outweigh
the
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apply
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renting
house
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a house
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. On the one hand, why
people
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do people
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think that we buy a new
house
.
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?
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First of all, nowadays
home's
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home
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rent is
increasingly
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increasing
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gradually
due to
the economic crisis.
For example
,
house
rent for
lodge
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lodges
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in srilanka which was
as
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apply
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17000rs before
corona
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the coronavirus
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pandemic
is
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apply
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increased by 20000rs.
Secondly
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Secondly,
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if we buy a new
house
by
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in
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cash or
loan
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on loan
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,when we
will
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apply
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sell
this
house
, the price will
increse
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increase
in future.so we can
get
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make
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more profit.
One
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On
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the other hand, some
peole
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people
live in rented
house
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houses
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beacause
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because
we can get
lot
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a lot
show examples
of
adavantages
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advantages
.
intially
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initially
, we can live at our
favourit
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favourite
places and easy to move other places for their business.
Secondly
, spending money for renting
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a house
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house
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a house
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lower than
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owning
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own
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owning
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a house
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house
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a house
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.
Finally
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Finally,
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we get various facilities than owning one
such
as water,electricity,
eductaion
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education
and hospital. In conclusion,
eventhough
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even though
rented
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a rented
show examples
house
make
Verb problem
has
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some positives,owning
house
Add an article
a house
show examples
is best for our future.
Submitted by arththikan on

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task achievement
Make sure the introduction clearly addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons why home ownership might be important and whether this is a positive or negative development. Your introduction provided a general statement about the increase in owning homes but did not fully address both parts of the question.
task achievement
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas that directly respond to the question. Some of your arguments are difficult to follow or appear incomplete. Expanding on these points with clear explanations and avoiding vague statements will strengthen your response.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points. The example about rent prices in Sri Lanka supports your argument; however, more detailed examples provided consistently throughout the essay would enhance its effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression of ideas throughout the essay with clear paragraphs for each main idea. While you attempted to structure the essay, some paragraphs lack a clear main idea or point, leading to a disjointed argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure you have a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction is present but does not fully set up the essay's structure. The conclusion is present but does not effectively summarize the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with clear, related details. Develop each main point with relevant explanations or arguments rather than moving quickly from one point to another. This deepens the analysis and maintains coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: