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Writing Samples
Band 6

The number of people who are at the risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What are the reasons for growth in the overweight people in the society. How can this problem be solved.

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In recent years, there has been an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 that have overweight issues,
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that there are more and more fast food restaurants providing junk food to the public. In order to tackle the problem, the
government
Use synonyms
 can organize various
activities
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 to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to work out more.
To begin
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 with, there are an increasing
amount
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 of restaurants now providing fast food on their menus. These junk foods are usually easy to produce in a short
amount
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 of time and at a low cost, making them appealing to restaurant owners.
However
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, the
amount
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 of calories in these fast foods often exceeds a normal person's daily intake.
For example
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, research has found that the
amount
Use synonyms
 of fat in a double cheeseburger already reached the daily quota of a male adult. Absorbing too much fat and calories daily can result in an increase in weight, and if the issues compound, it can lead to obesity. In order to solve the problem, various
activities
Use synonyms
 that encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to exercise can be organized by the
government
Use synonyms
. One effective way to reduce weight is through exercising,
such
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 as doing push-ups and playing sports. The
government
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 can organize events
such
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 as community sports day to encourage
people
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 to work out. Public talks and fairs are
also
Linking Words
 good methods to educate the citizens about the importance of regular exercise. Through these
activities
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,
people
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 can establish habits of a healthy life, and
thus
Linking Words
 reduce the chance of being overweight. In conclusion, more and more junk foods are provided by restaurants, making
people
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 become overweight as they consume
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In order to solve the problem, the
government
Use synonyms
 can organise
activities
Use synonyms
 that encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to exercise, which can reduce the chance of getting obese.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear and logical structure throughout the essay, with each paragraph smoothly transitioning to the next. Use a range of linking words and phrases to highlight connections between ideas and arguments.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion to frame the essay. The introduction should clearly state the aim of the essay, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate the thesis in light of the evidence presented.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with specific details. Use specific examples to support your arguments, and make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea that contributes to the overall argument of the essay.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring that your response fully covers the reasons for the growth in overweight people in society as well as possible solutions.
task achievement
Express ideas clearly and develop them comprehensively. Make sure each paragraph has a main idea and that the supporting sentences are relevant to this main idea.
task achievement
Use a mix of general assertions and specific, concrete examples to illustrate your points. Each main point should be supported by relevant examples or data, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Obesity
  • Processed foods
  • Caloric intake
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Nutritional education
  • Metabolic rate
  • Physical inactivity
  • Dietary habits
  • Health literacy
  • Psychological well-being
  • Chronic diseases
  • Body mass index (BMI)
  • Lifestyle modifications
  • Preventive measures
  • Healthcare interventions
  • Food deserts
  • Portion control
  • Weight management
  • Exercise regimen
  • Public health policy
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