Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

More and more people with health issues are now choosing
alternative
medicines and
therapies
over conventional
treatments
recommended by their practitioners. I believe
this
is a negative development because many alternatives are not held to the same standards as mainstream
treatments
and are often less useful in emergencies. In most countries,
alternative
medicines are not classified as drugs and are,
therefore
, not subject to the same regulations in terms of efficacy or marketing claims.
This
can be seen in herbal remedies which falsely claim to have special ingredients that affect effectiveness when there is no evidence of
this
. The same can be said for
alternative
therapies
. Many of these
therapies
are not conducted by registered practitioners who are permitted to work by a regulatory board.
As a result
, there is nothing to stop unethical or, even, unsafe practices from taking place.
In addition
, non-conventional medical
treatments
would not be as useful in emergency situations. They take time to work,
whereas
conventional
treatments
are developed to take effect fast. If people with conditions or symptoms that need to be relieved right away opt for
alternative
therapies
, they might miss the window of opportunity to cure their diseases. Consider patients who require
tumor
Change the spelling
tumour
show examples
removal as soon as possible. If they delay surgery in the hopes that a non-mainstream treatment would work, the
tumor
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tumour
show examples
might grow and spread to other parts of their bodies. In conclusion, the increased use of
alternative
medicines and
therapies
should be viewed as a **negative development**
due to
a
l**ack
Correct your spelling
lack
of regulation** and **their ineffectiveness** in emergency situations.
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task achievement
Be sure to address both sides of the argument to fully cover the task's requirements. You've given a strong case for why it's a negative development but haven't considered any potential positives.
task achievement
Make sure to expand on your main points with more detailed explanations and examples. This adds depth to your argument and supports your thesis more convincingly.
coherence cohesion
While you have organized your essay logically, including more connective words and phrases can help enhance flow and clarity, contributing to a higher score in coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Present both the introduction and conclusion clearly, ensuring the thesis statement is evident and restated at the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Try to fully develop each paragraph with a clear main idea and supporting information, so the reader does not doubt the completeness of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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