Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #zoos #purpose

While

it is believed by some that

zoos

are not have

Change the verb form

do not have

show examples

important values, others

said

Wrong verb form

say

show examples

that

zoos

have some tangible benefits.

This

essay will delve into

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

both points of view and my opinion will be illustrated.

To begin

with, some believe that

zoos

are very vital in order to save endangered animals. On account of pouching a lot of

specious

Correct your spelling

species

show examples

may be extinct in the near future. So as not to suffer from the given problem

zoos

are the best place to save and nurture them. Regarding leisure, a great number of children spend a great deal of time in

zoos

in their spare time.

This

is because they capture photos with animals and feeding them

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

some sort of fulfillment for the children.What's more, the natural atmosphere in the

zoos

contribute

Change the verb form

contributes

show examples

to some positive feelings because of

fresh

Correct article usage

the fresh

show examples

air. To illustrate

this

, the public

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

a great deal of time with

zoos

in procedure to expand their horizons and improve their stamina owing to healthy air. So as to the given justifications, in my country, four

zoos

were established in the

last

year.

Therefore

, it seems to me that

zoos

bring about positive impacts for both

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

and youths.

However

, despite these, it was claimed by some that

zoos

it is not

important

Add an article

an important

the important

show examples

thing to prioritise. So, what the government has to do is remove them and other valuing things take their places. To illustrate

this

, because of population

growth

Add a comma

growth,

show examples

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a lack of residential spots. To address

this

challenge

zoos

Fix the agreement mistake

zoo

show examples

spots have to be removed

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

homes. When it comes to

money

Correct article usage

the money

show examples

dilemma,the cost of nurturing these animals is very high

although

mony

Correct your spelling

many

countries suffer from inflation and debts, they offer high prices for

zoos

This fees

Change the determiner

This fee

These fees

show examples

can be

spended

Correct your spelling

spent

show examples

other important dilemma

Change the wording

another important dilemma

other important dilemmas

show examples

like taxes and weak

stipend

Fix the agreement mistake

stipends

show examples

. In spite of the aforementioned reasons, I am inclined to think neither.

According to

the given justifications in the first paragraph. In a nutshell, after a thorough analysis of

this

subject

Add a comma

subject,

show examples

it's predicted that the advantages of

zoos

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

outweigh

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

disadvantages,

while

some believe that it doesn't

not

Rewrite the sentence

apply

show examples

have any sort of benefits.

Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on Sat Dec 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize the ideas logically; however, there are instances of unclear argument progression. To enhance coherence, ensure that each new idea flows smoothly from the previous one by using linking words and phrases effectively. For instance: transition more clearly between the discussion of zoo benefits and the counterargument about residential concerns to maintain a logical structure.

coherence cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are present, but they require further development to clearly establish the purpose of the essay and succinctly summarize the main points. The introduction should explicitly state the points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should reaffirm the writer's stance and synthesize the main arguments without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a range of main points but lacks depth in their development and support. Each point should be illustrated with clear examples and explanations to substantiate your arguments. Consider incorporating specific data or referencing real-world instances where zoos have had a positive impact on conservation efforts or community engagement.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on the usefulness of zoos and providing a personal opinion. However, there is room to make the response more complete by fully exploring each viewpoint with equal attention and thorough analysis to avoid bias.

task achievement

While ideas related to the topic are present, they need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Aim to define and elaborate on each point to avoid vague statements. Using more precise language and detailed descriptions can clarify your intentions and make the essay more impactful.

task achievement

Providing specific examples is crucial for grounding your arguments in reality. In your essay, strive to include relevant and concrete examples that support the claims made about zoos' benefits or disadvantages. These examples help to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and bolster your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

356 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

conservation
habitat
endangered species
captive breeding
wildlife sanctuary
animal welfare
educational outreach
natural environment
ethical dilemma
ecotourism
species preservation
behavioral enrichment

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Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay their own tuition fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree with this statement

some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy,with everything organised and in the correct place.what is your opinion?

Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Write about the following topic. The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, student pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages.