Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #zoos #purpose

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While

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it is believed by some that

zoos

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are not have

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do not have

show examples

important values, others

said

Wrong verb form

say

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that

zoos

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have some tangible benefits.

This

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essay will delve into

the

Remove the article

apply

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both points of view and my opinion will be illustrated.

To begin

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with, some believe that

zoos

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are very vital in order to save endangered animals. On account of pouching a lot of

specious

Correct your spelling

species

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may be extinct in the near future. So as not to suffer from the given problem

zoos

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are the best place to save and nurture them. Regarding leisure, a great number of children spend a great deal of time in

zoos

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in their spare time.

This

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is because they capture photos with animals and feeding them

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

some sort of fulfillment for the children.What's more, the natural atmosphere in the

zoos

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contribute

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contributes

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to some positive feelings because of

fresh

Correct article usage

the fresh

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air. To illustrate

this

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, the public

spend

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spends

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a great deal of time with

zoos

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in procedure to expand their horizons and improve their stamina owing to healthy air. So as to the given justifications, in my country, four

zoos

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were established in the

last

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year.

Therefore

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, it seems to me that

zoos

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bring about positive impacts for both

adult

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adults

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and youths.

However

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, despite these, it was claimed by some that

zoos

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it is not

important

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an important

the important

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thing to prioritise. So, what the government has to do is remove them and other valuing things take their places. To illustrate

this

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, because of population

growth

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growth,

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there

are

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a lack of residential spots. To address

this

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challenge

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zoos

Fix the agreement mistake

zoo

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spots have to be removed

with

Change preposition

from

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homes. When it comes to

money

Correct article usage

the money

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dilemma,the cost of nurturing these animals is very high

although

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mony

Correct your spelling

many

countries suffer from inflation and debts, they offer high prices for

zoos

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Linking Words

This fees

Change the determiner

This fee

These fees

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can be

spended

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spent

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other important dilemma

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another important dilemma

other important dilemmas

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like taxes and weak

stipend

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stipends

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. In spite of the aforementioned reasons, I am inclined to think neither.

According to

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the given justifications in the first paragraph. In a nutshell, after a thorough analysis of

this

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subject

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subject,

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it's predicted that the advantages of

zoos

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are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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outweigh

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

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disadvantages,

while

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some believe that it doesn't

not

Rewrite the sentence

apply

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have any sort of benefits.

Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on Sat Dec 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize the ideas logically; however, there are instances of unclear argument progression. To enhance coherence, ensure that each new idea flows smoothly from the previous one by using linking words and phrases effectively. For instance: transition more clearly between the discussion of zoo benefits and the counterargument about residential concerns to maintain a logical structure.

coherence cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are present, but they require further development to clearly establish the purpose of the essay and succinctly summarize the main points. The introduction should explicitly state the points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should reaffirm the writer's stance and synthesize the main arguments without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a range of main points but lacks depth in their development and support. Each point should be illustrated with clear examples and explanations to substantiate your arguments. Consider incorporating specific data or referencing real-world instances where zoos have had a positive impact on conservation efforts or community engagement.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on the usefulness of zoos and providing a personal opinion. However, there is room to make the response more complete by fully exploring each viewpoint with equal attention and thorough analysis to avoid bias.

task achievement

While ideas related to the topic are present, they need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Aim to define and elaborate on each point to avoid vague statements. Using more precise language and detailed descriptions can clarify your intentions and make the essay more impactful.

task achievement

Providing specific examples is crucial for grounding your arguments in reality. In your essay, strive to include relevant and concrete examples that support the claims made about zoos' benefits or disadvantages. These examples help to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and bolster your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

356 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

conservation
habitat
endangered species
captive breeding
wildlife sanctuary
animal welfare
educational outreach
natural environment
ethical dilemma
ecotourism
species preservation
behavioral enrichment

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Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

In some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages of renting a home? Should governments subsidies house prices for first home buyers?