Many manufacturered food and drink products contain high lever of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Recently, health risks caused by higher
sugar
-containing beverages or food have increased a wide concern. Especially, after the development of the food industry, the
price
of those
products
become more affordable. Even though increasing the cost of those
produce
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
may not be the most effective solution,
this
essay aims to support that
this
method is reasonable to apply. Increasing the
price
of higher
sugar contained
Correct your spelling
sugar-containing
show examples
products
would
firstly
limit
teenager’s
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers’
show examples
consumption. It is imaginable that despite teenagers being one of the largest
sugar
consumer populations, most of them lack a stable income.
In other words
, they would not have enough money to buy candy, if it is expensive.
Therefore
, once we can increase the
price
of those
products
,
this
group of people may consume less
due to
financial stress.
For instance
, compared with purchasing candy which may cost $10 or even higher, those kids or juveniles may prefer to save their money.
Additionally
, even for adults who have a stable income,
reason
Correct article usage
the reason
show examples
for them to buy
this
sugar
product is because it is usually more economical.
For example
, the
price
of a normal cake would way much cheaper than a whole-grain bread.
As a result
, once they realise the growth of the prince of that
sugar contained
Correct your spelling
sugar-containing
show examples
product, they tend to buy the healthy ones. To illustrate
this
, rather than pay for a much more expensive Coke, people may tend to buy beverages
such
as yoghurt or milk, which would be way more healthy. In conclusion, by limiting the purchase intention, the increased
price
of
sugar
products
could both benefit the younger and senior generations. Specifically, in
this
situation, teenagers may tend to save money and adults would allocate the budget to healthy food. Both changed
behaviour
Fix the agreement mistake
behaviours
show examples
would lead to less
sugar
product consumption.
Submitted by heimli6 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion that directly addresses the question posed. The prompt clearly asks whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Your introduction should include a thesis statement that definitively takes a stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Throughout the essay, consistently develop your main points with supporting details and examples. Each paragraph should focus on one clear idea, and be fully developed with explanations and evidence for your standpoint.

Your opinion

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