Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is ongoing debate regarding whether people should focus on the part of an environmental issue like preventing the extinction of specific creatures first. From my perspective, It is
more
imperative that we Correct quantifier usage
apply
should
dedicate Verb problem
apply
to
the survival problem of human Correct pronoun usage
ourselves to
being
.
In Fix the agreement mistake
beings
this
highly materialistic society, what is obvious is that human has dominated the Earth for a long time. Since the industrial revolution, everything we have done to Linking Words
this
planet is Linking Words
irreversable
. Once we walk on Correct your spelling
irreversible
this
path, human Linking Words
being
are the destroyer and the Change the noun form
beings
savior
as well. Change the spelling
saviour
For instance
, If we concentrate on addressing the issue of saving Linking Words
the
endangered species, it could consume tons of Correct article usage
apply
resource
that we can make the best use of the human problem. Fix the agreement mistake
resources
As a consequence
, Linking Words
human
will die out and those creatures will face the same adversity.
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
On the contrary
, if we fix the Linking Words
human's
survival problem Change noun form
human
such
as recovering where human Linking Words
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
lives
, we would have the potential to develop Wrong verb form
live
the
advanced technology. With the Correct article usage
apply
widely
Change the word
wide
availibility
of Correct your spelling
availability
this
, Linking Words
human
can truly impact Fix the agreement mistake
humans
on
every aspect of the Earth positively. In terms of the big picture, It is believed that increasing the advancement of human Change preposition
apply
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
allow
the contemporary Wrong verb form
allows
evironment
Correct your spelling
environment
having
more ways out.
In conclusion, it is evident that there is indeed a more Change the verb form
to have
cirtical
issue than preventing the other animal Correct your spelling
crucial
disappearing
. The only method is that Change preposition
from disappearing
human
have to exist so that Fix the agreement mistake
humans
human
will be able to fix the disaster.Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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Task Response
Task Response: The essay fails to adequately address both views stated in the prompt before giving your own opinion. The argument presented is also one-sided and lacks a fully developed response that encompases a wider range of issues as suggested by the topic. To improve, ensure that you discuss both sides comprehensively, and provide a balanced opinion before concluding with your own viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The essay lacks clear, logical progression of ideas. Paragraphing needs to be reviewed--ideas should be organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to help your argument flow more naturally. Aim to include an introduction that clearly states the topic and your thesis, followed by body paragraphs that explore each view, and conclude with a summary that restates your opinion.
Task Achievement
Providing concrete, relevant examples to support your points is crucial and currently lacking in this essay. Develop your argument with specific examples from real-life situations, studies, or experiences that support your viewpoint. Examples should be directly related to the points you're making and enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite