Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is ongoing debate regarding whether people should focus on the part of an environmental issue like preventing the extinction of specific creatures first. From my perspective, It is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
imperative that we
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
dedicate
to
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves to
show examples
the survival problem of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
highly materialistic society, what is obvious is that human has dominated the Earth for a long time. Since the industrial revolution, everything we have done to
this
Linking Words
planet is
irreversable
Correct your spelling
irreversible
. Once we walk on
this
Linking Words
path, human
being
Change the noun form
beings
show examples
are the destroyer and the
savior
Change the spelling
saviour
show examples
as well.
For instance
Linking Words
, If we concentrate on addressing the issue of saving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
endangered species, it could consume tons of
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
that we can make the best use of the human problem.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
will die out and those creatures will face the same adversity.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, if we fix the
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
survival problem
such
Linking Words
as recovering where human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
lives
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
, we would have the potential to develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanced technology. With the
widely
Change the word
wide
show examples
availibility
Correct your spelling
availability
of
this
Linking Words
,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
can truly impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every aspect of the Earth positively. In terms of the big picture, It is believed that increasing the advancement of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
allow
Wrong verb form
allows
show examples
the contemporary
evironment
Correct your spelling
environment
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
more ways out. In conclusion, it is evident that there is indeed a more
cirtical
Correct your spelling
crucial
issue than preventing the other animal
disappearing
Change preposition
from disappearing
show examples
. The only method is that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
have to exist so that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
will be able to fix the disaster.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Task Response: The essay fails to adequately address both views stated in the prompt before giving your own opinion. The argument presented is also one-sided and lacks a fully developed response that encompases a wider range of issues as suggested by the topic. To improve, ensure that you discuss both sides comprehensively, and provide a balanced opinion before concluding with your own viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The essay lacks clear, logical progression of ideas. Paragraphing needs to be reviewed--ideas should be organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to help your argument flow more naturally. Aim to include an introduction that clearly states the topic and your thesis, followed by body paragraphs that explore each view, and conclude with a summary that restates your opinion.
Task Achievement
Providing concrete, relevant examples to support your points is crucial and currently lacking in this essay. Develop your argument with specific examples from real-life situations, studies, or experiences that support your viewpoint. Examples should be directly related to the points you're making and enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: