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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revelant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revelant.
#tourists #caribbean #island #summaries #information #features #comparisons #revelant
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The graph gives information on how
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 tourists came to
crouse
Use synonyms
 ships,
Use synonyms
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
show examples
 and in total rate during the period of 7 years from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there was a gradual increase in the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
belong
Wrong verb form
belonging
show examples
 to all units in the given period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the figure for
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 rate was the
highes
Correct your spelling
highest
 among all the provided categories. It is obviously seen from the graph that, the amount of tourists on
crouse
Use synonyms
 ships started its popularity with around 0,7
million
Use synonyms
 people, compared to about 0,2
million
Use synonyms
 on
tge
Correct your spelling
the
island
Use synonyms
 in 2010. The proportion of
visitors
Use synonyms
stayed
Correct pronoun usage
who stayed
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
crouse
Replace the word
the cruise
show examples
 ship went up to roughly 1,7
million
Use synonyms
 in 2012, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
remaining unchanged in 2011,
while
Linking Words
visitors
Use synonyms
 on the
island
Use synonyms
 increased to 0,5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2011, before having a drop to 0,2
million
Use synonyms
 in the next year. The rate
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 people who stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 saw
a little fluctuations
Correct the article-noun agreement
little fluctuations
a little fluctuation
show examples
 in the next half decade and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
 it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1,5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017.
This
Linking Words
 trend on
crouse
Use synonyms
 ships climbed up
Correct your spelling
until
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2017 when it
Correct your spelling
reached
reacged
Correct your spelling
reached
 to its peak point ( 2
million
Use synonyms
 ) In terms of total number which was the highest among the given groups, it had a
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the period. Until the end of the provided time, it continued to grow and in 2017, it
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
raised
rises
 to 3,5
million
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crouse, island, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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