Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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In today's evolving world,

health

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plays a significant role in everyone's lives.

Therefore

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, many kinds of treatment are available nowadays, including traditional methods of healthcare

as well as

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alternative

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medicine

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. It is argued that

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apply

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the number of people who try

alternative

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treatments

instead

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of visiting their usual doctor is increasing.

Although

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this

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action presents some advantages, I believe that the drawbacks associated with it are far greater. There are some drawbacks of

alternative

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medicine

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. First of all,

this

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type of treatment is not scientifically proven and

this

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one does not provide complete recovery.

Although

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alternative

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methods have gained popularity in society, they can be harmful and even wrong. One of the main causes of

this

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can be artificial professionals who offer their services.

This

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situation is made worse because individuals do not verify them.

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, their

health

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problems tend to get worse. Good examples include paramedics

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during

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the mass starvation time in the Kazakh steppe who came in the yurts but did not provide substantial recovery. Despite

this

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, there are several advantages to avoiding regular doctors. Personally, I think that the

health

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system should be free but there are some countries that encourage paid-for recoveries.

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, hospitals are often overcrowded and the queues tend to be large, but there are no policies regarding

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issue. Another benefit of

alternative

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medicine

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is accessibility, which is at home.

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, you should not go to the crowded hospitals and wait. In my opinion,

alternative

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treatment is more effective in terms of providing a healthy lifestyle.

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, acupuncture which was very popular in China in the

last

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decade can positively affect blood circulation

as well as

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remove muscle tension. In conclusion, the public

health

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system should be improved.

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alternative

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medicine

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will be less competitive, which lead to the popularity of regular doctors. Yet,

alternative

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treatments present more disadvantages than benefits, but they can change in the future

as well as

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overall

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health

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system, where there will be some innovative policies.

Submitted by ielts8bandplus on Sat Dec 02 2023

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task achievement

It's essential to maintain a consistent argument throughout the essay. While your introduction sets up a clear standpoint, the subsequent paragraphs seem to alternate between supporting and critiquing alternative medicines. Decide on a clear stance and support it throughout.

coherence cohesion

Include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide your reader through your argument. This will enhance the clarity with which you present your ideas.

task achievement

Be cautious with generalizations and unverified claims, such as stating alternative treatments 'do not provide complete recovery'. Such statements require evidential support.

task achievement

Examples used should be relevant and used to directly support your argument. Ensure that your examples are specific and clearly connected to the point you are making.

coherence cohesion

In developing paragraphs, aim for a more balanced approach by discussing both sides of the argument while maintaining your own position. This shows a depth of understanding and the ability to evaluate both sides of an issue.

coherence cohesion

Work on transitions and linking phrases, as they can help with the flow of your essay and signal the relation between sentences and ideas more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and avoid run-on sentences. Using a variety of complex grammatical structures accurately will help to convey your points more effectively.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Disagree -

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what coule be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or the building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people reseach this?