Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In the modern era, the rapid advancement and affordability of technology have made remote
work
and online
education
increasingly common for
both
adults and children.
While
this
shift offers undeniable benefits, I believe that the long-term implications of
this
trend are largely negative, primarily
due to
its impact on social interactions, mental
health
, and the
overall
quality
of
education
and
work
. One of the primary drawbacks of working and studying from
home
is the significant reduction in face-to-face social interactions. Traditionally, workplaces and schools have served as vital social environments where individuals
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
build relationships, collaborate on projects, and engage in informal discussions that often lead to creative solutions and personal growth. The shift to remote settings,
however
, has diminished these opportunities. People are now confined to their homes, interacting with others primarily through screens, which can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
According to
a study published by the American Psychological Association, the rate of depression and anxiety has increased significantly among remote workers post-pandemic, largely
due to
the
lack
of social engagement and the monotony of working in isolation.
In addition
to the social implications, the prolonged use of technology for
work
and study at
home
can take a toll on mental and physical
health
. The boundary between
work
and personal life has become increasingly blurred, leading to longer working hours and higher levels of stress. For children, the
lack
of physical activity and the increased screen time associated with online learning can contribute to a sedentary lifestyle, which is linked to various
health
problems
such
as obesity and eye strain.
Moreover
, the
lack
of a structured environment at
home
makes it challenging for
both
adults and children to maintain focus and discipline, ultimately affecting productivity and the
quality
of output.
Furthermore
, the
quality
of
education
and professional development has been compromised in the
home
setting. In traditional classroom environments, teachers can gauge students’ understanding and engagement through direct interaction, and they can provide immediate feedback and support.
However
, online classes often
lack
this
immediacy and personal connection, making it difficult for teachers to ensure that all students are actively participating and absorbing the material.
Similarly
, remote
work
can hinder professional growth, as employees miss out on the mentorship and networking opportunities that are more readily available in an office environment.
This
lack
of direct supervision and engagement can result in a superficial understanding of concepts for students and a stagnation in career development for professionals. In conclusion,
while
the convenience of remote
work
and online
education
has its merits, the negative consequences—
such
as reduced social interaction, mental
health
challenges, and a decline in the
quality
of
education
and
work
—suggest that
this
trend may not be beneficial in the long run. A balanced approach that integrates
both
remote and in-person activities would likely yield better outcomes for
both
individuals and society as a whole.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and includes a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to make the introduction more engaging to better capture the reader's interest from the outset.
task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, continue to include more specific examples and data to further back up your arguments. This will help to reinforce your points and make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
While your essay comprehensively addresses the prompt, consider adding a counterargument or acknowledging the potential benefits of remote work and education before delivering your final verdict. This balanced approach can enhance the depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure, and each paragraph progresses smoothly to the next, creating a cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully included a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your arguments well.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with explanations and some relevant examples, making your arguments credible and effective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
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