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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
The given graph illustrates the number of people who are over 65 years old in three disparate countries from 1940 to 2040. It is clearly evident that the USA was the most popular
country
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 with eight
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percent
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per cent
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 in 1940. Until 1980, the USA had a considerable increase to 15
percent
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,
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apply
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 but experienced a moderate decline until 2020 when its population fell slightly to about 13
percent
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.
Fianlly
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Finally
,
according to
Linking Words
 anticipates,
this
Linking Words
 ratio is going to grow to approximately 23
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 2040.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Sweden was the second most
old
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apply
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popular
country
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 with about 3
percent
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in1940
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in in1940
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. Despite
of
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apply
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some fluctuation,
this
Linking Words
country
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's old society
nowadys
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nowadays
 is about 18
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and it is going to increase to 25
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 2040.
Fianlly
Correct your spelling
Finally
, Japan had the fewest population of up
65
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to 65
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 years with merely five
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, and
this
Linking Words
 ratio
cotinues
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continues
 until 1990, but after that the older community
surge
Wrong verb form
surged
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 to 10
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 until 2024. Meanwhile,
this
Linking Words
 proportion will reach a peak at 27
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percent
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per cent
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 in 2040. In conclusion, the USA was a
country
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 with
higher
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a higher
the higher
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 majority of old people, but is going to be the lowest, unlike Japan which has the fewest society of old people, but it is going to be the highest one.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words country, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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