As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the usage of computers has dramatically increased in education, which is lowering the crucial role of
teachers
in the classroom. Even though technology development has a great impact on learning,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I still believe that having interaction with
teachers
is essential. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, a high number of electronic devices
got
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
developed in order to study. One of the reasons that students are using them more and more is because of its easy accessibility and convenience.
For example
, during the pandemic, students could access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
YouTube or some websites to learn about a certain topic,
as well as
use the computer to write some notes without having to be in a classroom.
On the other hand
, physical contact with
teachers
is quite important. The presence of the student in the classroom will enable the teacher to communicate in a better way, understand the feelings of the student , help him or her to gain knowledge in the most effective way possible, and eventually absorb the information easily.
For example
, in medical practical lessons, learning the information from online sites isn’t as effective as in
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
interaction because it is required to practice some skills in real life in order for it to stick better in the person’s mind. In conclusion, even that nowadays people are exploiting
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological devices in their educational
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
convenience ,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I still believe that the presence of
teachers
is
very
Rephrase
apply
show examples
crucial to
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information in the most reliable way .
Submitted by holarazouk3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by organizing paragraphs with clear topic sentences, supporting details, and concluding sentences. Transition words should be used more effectively to guide the reader. This will ensure the essay flows well.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved. Make sure your introduction clearly states your thesis and outlines the essay structure. The conclusion should not only summarize main points but also re-emphasize your stance without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are supported, strive for more depth and elaboration. Use detailed examples, and make sure they are fully explained and directly support your argument. This will add persuasiveness to your essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, though it could be more comprehensive. Be sure to explore all aspects of the statement and directly address the extent to which you agree or disagree throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and relevant but ensure that they are thoroughly developed and expanded upon. Use more complex sentences and a range of vocabulary to express nuanced thoughts on the topic.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant to your argument but need to be more specific and detailed. Providing real-world examples or citing studies could strengthen your position. Always link the examples back to the main point being made in the paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital learning
  • Personalized guidance
  • Blended learning
  • Remote education
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Human interaction
  • Cultural dimension
  • Mentorship
  • Critical thinking
  • Educational technology
  • Learning outcomes
  • Role model
What to do next:
Look at other essays: