Researches shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#business #meetings #discussions

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the contemporary era, humans achieve numerous progresses in disparate

scheme

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schemes

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. One of the most significant inventions of scientists is the

internet

. These days, we are obsessed with the

internet

and if we do not have access to it for a couple of hours, our entire life will be irregular. The main question that should be asked is whether

this phenomena

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this phenomenon

these phenomena

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beneficial

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is beneficial

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for

human

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the human

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race or not

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It is an undeniable fact that

human

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humans

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have to work on something every second. In past centuries, people used to work

hardly

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hard

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to provide

their

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for their

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family's

need

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needs

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;

such

as cutting wood,

butchering

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and butchering

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. Unlike those days,

due to

sedentary

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a sedentary

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lifestyle, individuals are spending their

times

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time

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differently;

for instance

, they surf on the

internet

or chat with their

acquiantances

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acquaintances

via the

internet

. The

internet

brings a wide

ranges

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range

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of variety for modern life;

for example

, during the pandemic of Covid-19, people had an interaction with their relatives via social media like Skype or Telegram applications.

Moreover

, students can learn their lessons more profoundly when they are in their

home

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homes

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and study online.

Further

, the

internet

is an inseparable element of knowledge these days. If you want to acquire an article or even a book, you can just search it on

the

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apply

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Google and find it easily. On the flip side, some

group

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groups

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believe that we should not neglect the cons of the

internet

. Obesity and lack of strength are just two simple samples of the drawbacks. Children and juveniles are not as active as before

due to

this

matter and they are just sitting at home

while

playing video games and watching movies. They interpret that in their time, childhood was completely different from

new

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the new

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era, so they are protesting

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apply

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this

Overall

, despite all the disadvantages of the

ineternet

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Internet

in our daily life, it is an important part of

modern

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a modern

the modern

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human

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humans

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that should not be deleted because of its

teremendous

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tremendous

influence

for

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humankind.

Submitted by tg.persian on Sat Dec 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Both should be distinct sections which serve to frame your essay effectively. Your introduction did not clearly define the topic or your position on it, and there was no clear conclusion summarizing your stance or findings.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical structure of your essay. Ideas should flow in a clear and logical order, with each paragraph smoothly transitioning to the next. Try to use cohesive devices such as linking words or phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Expand on and support your main points with concrete examples or data. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing to the reader. Your essay lacked relevant examples to illustrate the points you were making.

task achievement

Address the task directly and make sure your response covers all parts of the prompt fully. The question asked whether the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages, which requires a comparative analysis that was not sufficiently clear in your essay.

task achievement

Your ideas should be clear and comprehensive. Avoid overly complex sentences or vague statements that may confuse the reader. Strive to be concise and precise in expressing your thoughts.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to back up your ideas. In each body paragraph, try to use real-life instances or hypothetical cases that directly relate to the point you are making. Your examples were too general and did not effectively support your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

virtual collaboration
webinar
teleconferencing
synchronous/asynchronous
connectivity
cybersecurity
remote workforce
digital divide
user interface
bandwidth
cloud storage
video conferencing
e-learning
webcast
online etiquette

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Researches shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, obesity is increasing, especially among children. One solution is to increase the tax on food and drinks which contain large amounts of sugar. How effective is this solution? What other measures would be effective?