Researches shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
On
the contemporary era, humans achieve numerous progresses in disparate Change preposition
In
scheme
. One of the most significant inventions of scientists is the Fix the agreement mistake
schemes
internet
. These days, we are obsessed with the internet
and if we do not have access to it for a couple of hours, our entire life will be irregular. The main question that should be asked is whether this phenomena
Change the determiner
this phenomenon
these phenomena
beneficial
for Add a missing verb
is beneficial
human
race or notCorrect article usage
the human
?
It is an undeniable fact that Change the punctuation
.
human
have to work on something every second. In past centuries, people used to work Fix the agreement mistake
humans
hardly
to provide Change the word
hard
their
family's Change preposition
for their
need
; Fix the agreement mistake
needs
such
as cutting wood, butchering
. Unlike those days, Correct word choice
and butchering
due to
sedentary
lifestyle, individuals are spending their Correct article usage
a sedentary
times
differently; Fix the agreement mistake
time
for instance
, they surf on the internet
or chat with their acquiantances
via the Correct your spelling
acquaintances
internet
. The internet
brings a wide ranges
of variety for modern life; Correct the article-noun agreement
range
for example
, during the pandemic of Covid-19, people had an interaction with their relatives via social media like Skype or Telegram applications. Moreover
, students can learn their lessons more profoundly when they are in their home
and study online. Fix the agreement mistake
homes
Further
, the internet
is an inseparable element of knowledge these days. If you want to acquire an article or even a book, you can just search it on the
Google and find it easily.
On the flip side, some Correct article usage
apply
group
believe that we should not neglect the cons of the Fix the agreement mistake
groups
internet
. Obesity and lack of strength are just two simple samples of the drawbacks. Children and juveniles are not as active as before due to
this
matter and they are just sitting at home while
playing video games and watching movies. They interpret that in their time, childhood was completely different from new
era, so they are protesting Correct article usage
the new
to
Change preposition
apply
this
.
Overall
, despite all the disadvantages of the ineternet
in our daily life, it is an important part of Correct your spelling
Internet
modern
Add an article
a modern
the modern
human
that should not be deleted because of its Fix the agreement mistake
humans
teremendous
influence Correct your spelling
tremendous
for
humankind.Change preposition
on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Both should be distinct sections which serve to frame your essay effectively. Your introduction did not clearly define the topic or your position on it, and there was no clear conclusion summarizing your stance or findings.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay. Ideas should flow in a clear and logical order, with each paragraph smoothly transitioning to the next. Try to use cohesive devices such as linking words or phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Expand on and support your main points with concrete examples or data. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing to the reader. Your essay lacked relevant examples to illustrate the points you were making.
task achievement
Address the task directly and make sure your response covers all parts of the prompt fully. The question asked whether the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages, which requires a comparative analysis that was not sufficiently clear in your essay.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear and comprehensive. Avoid overly complex sentences or vague statements that may confuse the reader. Strive to be concise and precise in expressing your thoughts.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to back up your ideas. In each body paragraph, try to use real-life instances or hypothetical cases that directly relate to the point you are making. Your examples were too general and did not effectively support your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example