the question is people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. Agree or disagree

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It is popularly believed in society that residents have the right of self-managing their income,
instead
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of spending on tax revenue. The writer of
this
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essay disagrees with
this
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statement, primarily
due to
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the importance of social welfare.
However
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, others are opposed to
this
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belief when it comes to personal satisfaction. Foremostly,it must be acknowledged that tax money is the purpose of investing in collective benefits. To put it simply, if authorities aim to enhance the living standards of communities, the provision of social services
as well as
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public infrastructure must take place.
As a result
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, the funding for these initiatives should be mostly sponsored by the citizens since its orientation is to ensure equal and sustainable support for all. Take Vietnam as a contextual example where its government stimulates every individual to donate to free vaccination programs, resulting in providing everyone, especially the poor with health guarantees.
Nevertheless
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, many hold the opinion of letting themselves allocate their expenditure to fulfil the sense of accomplishment. It is because of their hard-working efforts to earn a living that they may prefer to reward themselves rather than subsidise community welfare.
This
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point may be valid, but if
this
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situation continued,
this
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essential assistance would be underfunded.
Consequently
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, it will likely lead to social instability and increase inequality in terms of living conditions between the rich and poor.
Therefore
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, regardless of serving personal interests, it is crucial to live for a better future for society. In conclusion, paying taxes is assumed to play a vital role in the authority of a country so as to afford social support. Contrastingly, despite
this
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moral purpose, some suppose that it is not their prior duty toward the public,compared to investing in themselves
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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structure
Your essay has a solid structure, but make sure to keep a uniform style from beginning to end. It might be helpful to break down long sentences into shorter, clearer ones. This can improve the overall readability of your essay.
depth
A deeper exploration of counterarguments would enrich your essay. For instance, you briefly mention personal satisfaction but do not delve into how this could validly challenge the need for taxation. Addressing such concerns with more depth can make your argument more robust.
language
You have some minor language errors such as "Foremostly" which should be "First and foremost," and spacing issues like "public,compared" should be "public, compared." These don't detract significantly from understanding but polishing them could enhance the overall score.
summary
Your introduction and conclusion are present and clearly summarize your position, making the essay cohesive.
examples
You provide relevant, specific examples like the Vietnam vaccination program to support your points. This adds credibility to your argument.
balance
The essay covers both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced perspective before concluding with your viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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