Some People Feel That Entertainers Such As Film Stars, Pop Musicians Or Sports Stars Are Paid Too Much Money. Do You Agree Or Disagree? Which Other Types Of Job Should Be Highly Paid?

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In the present era, the
government
pays a lot of money to Entertainers
Such
As Film Stars, Pop Musicians Or Sports Stars. But the real question is , It is
this
have a positive impact in the future ? or is coming with a negative on
government
and citizens?
To begin
with, the
government
should look up to more important things to less important things which benefit the
people
for the future of the salve.
Such
as education , hospitals and taking care of
people
's livelihood.
For example
, the
government
should pay for the easy process to access to buying homes because it is illogical
people
do not have a place to live and the
government
pay millions of dollars for sports stars or famous singers. Not only but
also
there are many poor patients who have a difficult situation and they need expensive medicine but they can not pay for it. Another point to consider is that we can interested in entertainment in various ways, without paying too much money.
For example
, there are many local talents from the same country we can encourage and support them to improve their skills and give them the opportunity to participate as part of the entertainment.
Moreover
, there are many jobs the
government
should pay for
such
as, first responders to be more specific, firefighters
government
should care about them because they sacrifice for us. In conclusion, in my opinion, the
government
should reconsider their payments to celebrities because
this
could have a negative impact on the development of
people
and society.
Submitted by waad.balubaid on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical connection between paragraphs, ensuring ideas flow smoothly from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by clearly expressing your stance and summarizing main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support claims, particularly in the area of government spending priorities.
task achievement
Clarify ideas and ensure they are fully developed for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, guiding readers through your argument.
task achievement
You present a reasonable argument regarding the prioritization of government spending over entertainers.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Revenue generation
  • Supply and demand
  • Influence on culture
  • Trendsetters
  • Income disparity
  • Essential workers
  • Critical role
  • Public health
  • Endorsements
  • Economies
  • Compensation
  • Significant contribution
  • Technological advancements
  • Global challenges
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