IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

nowadaysn teenagers are suffering from a lot of pressure.Write an esay of about 250 words to list the causes of teen pressure and give solutions to overcome?

#nowadaysn #teenagers #pressure #esay #list
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The young
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Young
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 individuals nowadays have to suffer from a lot of
pressures
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pressure
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,which may significantly impact
on
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apply
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the
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apply
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children’s growth.The following
pagraphs
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paragraphs
 of
this
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 essay will talk about
this
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 issue’s causes and some measures
should
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that should
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 be applied as soon as possible.
To begin
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 with,the
problem
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 is attributed to various factors.High
expectation
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expectations
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 from
parents
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 os one of the main causes of teen pressure.I mean,many
parents
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 nowadays have
excessive
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an excessive
the excessive
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expectation
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expectations
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 for their offspring;
henc
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hence
,in order not to
dissappoint
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disappoint
 their
parents
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,young individuals have to study hard and fight with educational standards.
This
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 goes on for a long time,making youngsters extremely stressed.
Besides
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,digital pressure is another reason
of
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for
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 the
problem
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.
This
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 can be explained that social media
such
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 as
facebook
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Facebook
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,instagram
twiter
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Twitter
,etc contain a large amount
ofd
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of
 information about different
major
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majors
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;
and
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apply
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 among them,they are not censored whether they are right or wrong.If teenagers read that information by chance,their minds and thoughts will be
afected
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affected
 seriously.
Nevertheless
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,there are a number of viable solutions to tackle the
problem
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.First and foremost,
parents
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 should not expect too much
on
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from
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 their children
that
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which
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making
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makes
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youngster
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youngsters
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 feel tense.
Instead
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 of that,kids should be
encouragesd
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encouraged
 to develop their social skills by participating in social events or activities which they are keen on.After that,they will be more energetic and
enthusiatic
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enthusiastic
.
Besides
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,
family
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the family
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 ought to limit the media
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also
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and also
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 teach them how to recognize the wrong information to avoid being affected on their minds and
thoughs
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thoughts
. In conclusion,there are many
contributiors
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contributors
contributions
 to the
problem
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 and several measures are suggested to put an end to the situation.
Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that you develop your ideas fully and provide clear progression in your arguments. Paragraphs should flow logically, with clear connections between them.
Task Achievement
Aim to cover all parts of the question in sufficient detail and support your points with specific examples. Consider structuring your essay to include an introduction, body paragraphs each addressing a specific aspect of the question, and a conclusion summarizing the key points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • **Academic Pressure**: competition, prestigious, workload, counseling services
  • **Social Media Influence**: digital literacy, anxiety, self-esteem, boundaries, offline activities
  • **Family Expectations**: unrealistic self-expectations, open communication, realistic goals, emotional support
  • **Peer Pressure**: fit in, accepted, risky behaviors, supportive environment, coping mechanisms, extracurricular
  • **Economic Pressures**: financial constraints, part-time jobs, financial aid programs, stress management workshops
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