local council is considering closing a sports and leisure centre that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter • give details of how you and your friends or family use the centre • explain why the centre is important for the local community • describe the possible effects on local people if the centre closes

#council #sports #leisure #centre #money #friends #community #effects #people

Dear Sir or Madam, I am John Reyyes, one of the members of the local community, writing to you to express my dissatisfaction with your plan to close the sports and leisure

centre

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

will have negative effects on us. My family and

Change the capitalization

show examples

have been using the

centre

since we moved to

this

area.

Firstly

, my wife has taken up a yoga course there and

this

sport from the sports

centre

has had a positive impact on our lives.

Secondly

, my children have been working out there in the past year.

As a result

, they are away from getting addicted to the drugs.

This

centre

is vitally important for the local community here, and it has brought many benefits with it. Youths are having healthy lives

due to

the variety of courses

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

cooperating with their schools to make it easier to develop

thier

Correct your spelling

their

skills and express themselves in

this

society. I am looking forward to your reply in order to change your mind about saving

this

centre

instead

of closing it to save money. Yours faithfully, John Reyyes

Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on Mon Feb 12 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

You've managed to structure your letter in a clear way, presenting each of your arguments in a separate paragraph. However, to improve the logical structure, consider introducing each paragraph more clearly with topic sentences that signal the specific focus of the paragraph. This will make your arguments even more coherent for the reader.

Task Achievement

Each paragraph contains relevant details about how the sports and leisure centre benefits you and the community, which is good. However, elaborating more on these points by providing specific examples or further explaining the consequences of closing the centre could enrich your argument and make your response more complete.

Task Achievement

For a more formal and consistent tone, avoid using casual language ('my wife has taken up a yoga course there and this sport from the sports centre has had a positive impact on our lives'). Instead, opt for more formal expressions and avoid contractions ('has' instead of 'has', 'do not' instead of 'don't'). This will give your letter the suitable writing tone expected in formal correspondence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your greeting and closing are generally appropriate for formal letters, but ensure that you maintain a consistent formal tone throughout the letter. Including a more formal closing ('Yours sincerely' when the name of the person is known, 'Yours faithfully' when it is not) paired with your full name enhances the professionalism of your letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

180 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure centre
foster social bonds
physical health
mental well-being
constructive activities
accessible
exercise
community spirit
public service
anti-social behavior
cost-saving measures
vital role
recreation
negative impact
forecast

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Unit 2: To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

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Some believed that spending time with family and friends is the best while others believe that time should rather be spent on career improvement. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Getting promotion is one of the biggest drivers for people to apply themselves and work hard in the modern work place. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?