Doctor recommend that older people should exercise regularly. However, many of them do not exercise enough. What are the cause? what can be done to encourage them to exercise?

#doctor #people #exercise

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Doctors suggest older people should

exercise

Use synonyms

regularly.

However

Linking Words

, many of them do not

exercise

Use synonyms

enough. There are several reasons why

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

do not have sufficient

exercise

Use synonyms

, including being physically incapable, having a bad mindset and

inadequate

Add a missing verb

having inadequate

show examples

facilities.

This

Linking Words

problem can be tackled by providing de support from family or a

community

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

appropriate facilities and

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

exercise

Use synonyms

. ok Many elderly face challenges to include regular

exercise

Use synonyms

in their daily routine. Physical limitations,

such

Linking Words

as joint pain or reduced mobility can make certain

Use synonyms

exercise

Fix the agreement mistake

exercises

show examples

difficult or uncomfortable for them.

Additionally

Linking Words

, a negative mindset or lack of motivation may contribute to their engagement in physical activities.

This

Linking Words

isThese

Correct your spelling

is these

usually because of the absence of suitable facilities that are provided near their area.

Although

Linking Words

in some areas the government provides the equipment, it is sometimes used for other aged groups which

then

Linking Words

lower

Replace the word

lowers

show examples

and demotivates the elderly to actively utilize the tools as they

also

Linking Words

contributes

Change the verb form

contribute

show examples

lower

Replace the word

lowering

show examples

their motivation to

exercise

Use synonyms

. Family plays a crucial role in supporting

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

to be physically active by

encouraginge

Correct your spelling

encouraging

, and accompanying them in the process.

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society can

also

Linking Words

establish

Add an article

show examples

community

Use synonyms

which

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

support by regularly holding an

activity

Use synonyms

which

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

exercise

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as … (name of

activity

Use synonyms

) These movements help older people to feel more confident and motivated.

additionally

Linking Words

, Equipping them with appropriate

exercise

Use synonyms

tools

further

Linking Words

facilitates their engagement.

Additionally

Linking Words

, to keep their spirit they can join a

community

Use synonyms

. In a

community

Use synonyms

, there are a lot of activities like exercises,

community

Use synonyms

services program

Fix the agreement mistake

service programs

show examples

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

about their health.

These

Change the determiner

This activity

These activities

show examples

activity

Use synonyms

can help them to not

fell

Correct your spelling

feel

show examples

monotonous and consistent to

exercise

Use synonyms

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

. In conclusion,

recognize

Wrong verb form

recognising

show examples

the challenges faced by older individuals in maintaining regular

exercise

Use synonyms

is essential. Implementing comprehensive solutions, including family and

community

Use synonyms

support, and appropriate equipment is crucial to empower

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

to enjoy numerous health benefits that

associate

Wrong verb form

are associated

show examples

with physical

activity

Use synonyms

Submitted by nadiaha234 on Sun Dec 03 2023

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introduction conclusion present

The essay does provide an introduction and conclusion, but both could be improved. They should clearly present the essay's main points and briefly summarize the key arguments made throughout the text. As an examiner, I would encourage the practice of including a restatement of the question and a summary of the points discussed.

logical structure

While there is a logical sequence overall, the transitions between ideas could be smoother and more cohesive. There are also numerous grammar and vocabulary issues that can make the text hard to follow or understand in places. Consider refining sentence structures and improving the flow between points to enhance coherence.

supported main points

Main points are present, but they could be better supported with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. For instance, when discussing physical limitations, elaborating on commonly experienced conditions and how they affect exercise routines would be beneficial. Use specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments.

complete response

You have addressed the task and offered solutions to the problem, which is good. However, the response could be more complete by directly addressing the causes of the issue with more depth and insight. Think about expanding on each point with more explanation and analysis.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas on how to tackle the problem are comprehensible but lack depth. Aim for a more thorough exploration of these ideas, focusing on how they could realistically be implemented and their potential effectiveness. This would enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your suggestions.

relevant specific examples

The use of specific examples is limited, and this weakens the essay. To achieve a higher score, incorporate varied and detailed examples that are directly relevant to the points you're making. These can be hypothetical scenarios, statistics, or real-world cases that relate to encouraging exercise among the elderly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

312 words

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Doctor recommend that older people should exercise regularly. However, many of them do not exercise enough. What are the cause? what can be done to encourage them to exercise?

Fully explain your ideas

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

In many countries people can go to a supermarket and buy products

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university in order to travel or to work do you think advantags outweigh vote disadvantages

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.