Doctor recommend that older people should exercise regularly. However, many of them do not exercise enough. What are the cause? what can be done to encourage them to exercise?
Doctors suggest older people should
exercise
regularly. However
, many of them do not exercise
enough. There are several reasons why elderly
do not have sufficient Correct article usage
the elderly
exercise
, including being physically incapable, having a bad mindset and inadequate
facilities. Add a missing verb
having inadequate
This
problem can be tackled by providing de support from family or a community
, also
appropriate facilities and type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
exercise
. ok
Many elderly face challenges to include regular exercise
in their daily routine. Physical limitations, such
as joint pain or reduced mobility can make certain exercise
difficult or uncomfortable for them. Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
Additionally
, a negative mindset or lack of motivation may contribute to their engagement in physical activities. This
isThese
usually because of the absence of suitable facilities that are provided near their area. Correct your spelling
is these
Although
in some areas the government provides the equipment, it is sometimes used for other aged groups which then
lower
and demotivates the elderly to actively utilize the tools as they Replace the word
lowers
also
contributes
to Change the verb form
contribute
lower
their motivation to Replace the word
lowering
exercise
.
Family plays a crucial role in supporting elderly
to be physically active by Correct article usage
the elderly
encouraginge
, and accompanying them in the process. Correct your spelling
encouraging
the
society can Correct article usage
apply
also
establishAdd an article
a
community
which provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
a
support by regularly holding an Remove the article
apply
activity
which encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
elderly
to Correct article usage
the elderly
exercise
, such
as … (name of activity
) These movements help older people to feel more confident and motivated. additionally
, Equipping them with appropriate exercise
tools further
facilitates their engagement.
Additionally
, to keep their spirit they can join a community
. In a community
, there are a lot of activities like exercises, community
services program
or Fix the agreement mistake
service programs
learn
about their health. Wrong verb form
learning
These
Change the determiner
This activity
These activities
activity
can help them to not fell
monotonous and consistent to Correct your spelling
feel
exercise
everyday
.
In conclusion, Replace the word
every day
recognize
the challenges faced by older individuals in maintaining regular Wrong verb form
recognising
exercise
is essential. Implementing comprehensive solutions, including family and community
support, and appropriate equipment is crucial to empower elderly
to enjoy numerous health benefits that Correct article usage
the elderly
associate
with physical Wrong verb form
are associated
activity
.Submitted by nadiaha234 on
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introduction conclusion present
The essay does provide an introduction and conclusion, but both could be improved. They should clearly present the essay's main points and briefly summarize the key arguments made throughout the text. As an examiner, I would encourage the practice of including a restatement of the question and a summary of the points discussed.
logical structure
While there is a logical sequence overall, the transitions between ideas could be smoother and more cohesive. There are also numerous grammar and vocabulary issues that can make the text hard to follow or understand in places. Consider refining sentence structures and improving the flow between points to enhance coherence.
supported main points
Main points are present, but they could be better supported with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. For instance, when discussing physical limitations, elaborating on commonly experienced conditions and how they affect exercise routines would be beneficial. Use specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments.
complete response
You have addressed the task and offered solutions to the problem, which is good. However, the response could be more complete by directly addressing the causes of the issue with more depth and insight. Think about expanding on each point with more explanation and analysis.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas on how to tackle the problem are comprehensible but lack depth. Aim for a more thorough exploration of these ideas, focusing on how they could realistically be implemented and their potential effectiveness. This would enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your suggestions.
relevant specific examples
The use of specific examples is limited, and this weakens the essay. To achieve a higher score, incorporate varied and detailed examples that are directly relevant to the points you're making. These can be hypothetical scenarios, statistics, or real-world cases that relate to encouraging exercise among the elderly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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