Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today's digital era, a growing number of
children
spend considerable hours each day engrossed in smartphone usage. This
essay aims to explore the reasons behind this
phenomenon. It also
outlines that it is a negative development by examining and evaluating the potential consequences.
The rapid advancement of smartphones has provided children
with easy access to a wide range of digital content and interactive applications. The proliferation of social media platforms, gaming apps, and streaming services has created an engaging and immersive digital environment that captivates children
's attention for extended periods. Moreover
, smartphones enable children
to stay connected with friends, family, and peers through various communication channels. The allure of constant social interaction, instant messaging, and the desire to be part of online communities can drive children
to spend excessive time on their devices, seeking validation and maintaining virtual relationships.
Excessive smartphone use may lead to detrimental effects on children
's physical and mental well-being. Sedentary behaviour, reduced physical activity, and the potential for sleep disturbances are concerns associated with prolonged screen time. Moreover
, excessive exposure to digital content can impact children
's social interactions, emotional development, and attention spans, potentially leading to addictive behaviours and a diminished ability to engage in real-world activities.
I believe that it is a negative trend. This
is primarily because we can make our children
computer literate when they are in school and remain connected with them in person rather than online to build lasting relationships. So the advantages that it offers are not far-reaching or significant. On the contrary
, the drawbacks of this
development are so profound that they are worrisome. This
is why we should be aware of the negative consequences of it.
The prevalence of children
spending extensive hours on smartphones stems from various factors, including technological advancements and social connectivity. While
the advantages of digital literacy and educational opportunities are evident, the negative consequences on physical health, mental well-being, and social skills far outweigh the advantages.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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task achievement
Ensure that the response to the task sufficiently covers all aspects of the prompt. The essay needs a fuller response to the second part of the question regarding whether this is a positive or negative development. Include a balanced argument and a conclusion that encapsulates your viewpoint definitively.
task achievement
Make sure that ideas are presented clearly and comprehensively. The essay lacks depth in exploring each main point with clear examples and elaborations to strengthen the argument. Implement a more structured approach to idea development.
task achievement
To improve the use of specific examples, aim to include precise, personal or observed instances that clearly illustrate the points being made. This will provide a stronger case and contribute to a higher task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is present, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, to improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it flow smoothly and logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Each main point within the essay should be supported by relevant details or examples. Currently, the points are acknowledged but not sufficiently developed. Expand on these points with further explanations or examples to enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.