IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is suggested that solving environmental problems should be the responsibility of an international organization rather than each national government. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#responsibility #organization #government
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In recent days, people have argued about whether global organizations or each
country
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 are responsible for dealing with environmental
issues
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. From my point of view, these
problems
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 should be tackled by all nations around the world. There are compelling reasons why solving natural situations is the responsibility of each national
government
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. First and foremost, each
country
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 should establish policies about saving nature because
when
Rephrase
apply
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having a clean environment,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can contribute to the economy of a nation as it can help to increase tourism services.
For instance
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, Japan has published policies about keeping nature green and teaching people how to save the environment,
as a result
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, it attracts more tourists to visit and helps to increase the nation’s funds.
In contrast
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, if solving environmental
problems
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 is just the responsibility of international organizations, it can lead to overloaded work for these companies. Each nation has its own situation,
therefore
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, it will put pressure on these companies to have appropriate measures for each
country
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Moreover
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, it is responsible for each
country
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 to join hands in dealing with global environmental
problems
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. More specifically, some
issues
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 need the cooperation of every nation
such
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 as global warming or illegal hunting,
therefore
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,
this
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 is very crucial for each national
government
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 to raise people’s awareness about these
problems
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.
Due to
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this
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 reason, heavy punishments and policies should be published to reduce the impact of animal hunting and carbon dioxide emissions. Singapore is one example of
this
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, as its
government
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 has a ban on poachers to reduce illegal hunting,
this
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 is results in keeping the biodiversity.
By contrast
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, if these
issues
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 are only tackled by international incorporations, they can not have a significant result.
Additionally
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, if there are no bans or punishments, people will continue to harm the environment which leads to difficulty for these organizations to deal with these natural
issues
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 In conclusion,
due to
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 the aforementioned reasons, I am firmly convinced that environmental
issues
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 should be the responsibility of each national
government
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 rather than international companies
Submitted by lamdactuanga on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the essay and fully address all parts of the task.
task achievement
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction and a summary of your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure all paragraphs are well-developed with main ideas and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical sequencing of ideas and paragraphs to enhance the readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively but do not overuse them.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and reiterates your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • nation's jurisdiction
  • international collaboration
  • global response
  • coordinated effort
  • enforcing environmental laws
  • sharing best practices
  • innovations and technologies
  • critical resources and knowledge
  • international agreements
  • equitable distribution
  • accountability
  • oversight
  • local context
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