Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?
Several individuals believe that good
health
is crucial to everyone, so medical services should not be managed by profit-making companies. In my opinion, I think that the advantages of private health
care do not outweigh its disadvantages.
On one hand, it is clear that
personal healthcare provides high-quality facilities as well as
good services. To illustrate, in my country, VietNam, if you go to private hospitals for an examination, you do not need to wait in long time to take your turn. However
, you must wait a couple of hours in public hospitals for your turn-taking. Additionally
, each sick room of a personal healthcare centre consists of only one to two patients
, however
, this
figure is from 12 to 22 patients
in a public hospital room . It means that private medical services can bring a sense of comfort to patients
, which contributes to protecting their mental health
and helping patients
to get well again quickly.
On the other hand
, spending on private health
is very expensive. For instance
, in Vietnam, I must pay from 50 to 100 VND for each examination at a public hospital. Conversely
, this
figure booms from 300 to one million VND in a personal healthcare centre, which leads to a financial burden on patients
coming from poor families. Furthermore
, many individuals will not dare go to hospitals when they are sick. As a result
, the problems of healthy communities and the social economy will grow.
In conclusion, the advantages of the comfortable feeling of patients
seem to not outweigh the disadvantages of the increase in the number of healthy communities and economic issues.Submitted by writingeilts on
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task achievement
You have addressed both views of the essay prompt. To further strengthen your argument, make sure to add more supporting examples and details to balance your points better.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured and easy to follow, but try to enhance the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Transitional phrases can be used more effectively to ensure a smoother flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion provide a clear and concise summary of your main argument, which adds to the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the comparison between private and public hospitals in Vietnam, help to illustrate your points effectively.