IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #salaries #ceos #executives #workers
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Well-established companies should give higher compensation to CEOs and executives than the other staff.
This
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 is a common thing in the corporate world, and I agree with the statement
due to
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 reasons, which will be discussed in the following paragraph.
To begin
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 with, the bosses have wider responsibilities in comparison to lower-level workers. They should pay attention to a few departments simultaneously.
For instance
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, The director of the marketing team supervises creative, marketing, and social media teams which makes him have intense focus in order to control them. In
this
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 case, there is the probability that he will have more working hours and needs to be available whenever the
company
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 calls him.
Moreover
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, the roles of the leaders are something that cannot be counted per piece of work. Mentorship,
for example
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, gives the employees encouragement which is valuable for them.
This
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 function can not be replaced in a short period because there are requirements which need to be fulfilled
such
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 as culture fit and value that someone brings to the
company
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. When one fits into the
company
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, it is something that comes from a long journey of searching.
Thus
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, good compensation is worth it to give.
However
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, their salaries must be maintained to be not overpaid. Overbudgeting for them may harm the
company
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 and impact the long run. The standard ranges must be applied to keep the cost in balance. In conclusion, the companies’ leaders deserve to have more benefits than others
according to
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 the value they give the companies. Monitoring in a helicopter view and mentorship are precious.
Submitted by erniwbs on

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task achievement
It's important to have a clear thesis statement that outlines your position in the introduction. Make sure your introduction sets the stage for the discussion and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea you will discuss. Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Vague statements lessen the impact of your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • executive compensation
  • income disparity
  • corporate governance
  • incentive structures
  • ethical considerations
  • competitive advantage
  • demotivation
  • pay structures
  • social inequality
  • talent acquisition
  • company culture
  • economic impact
  • leadership roles
  • employee morale
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