Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health.

Some people
aruge
Correct your spelling
argue
that reside in metropolis
affected
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
health
. In
this
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
will explore
this
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
and I
am partially agree
Change the verb form
partially agree
show examples
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
statement. Basically, a big city have more job opportunities and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
envirnoment
Correct your spelling
environment
than
rural
Correct article usage
a rural
show examples
area
as a result
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people who looking for
a well
Correct word choice
good
show examples
development may
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to move
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
city like New York, London and Paris. Those cities
are generally easily produce
Change the verb form
generally easily produce
show examples
air and light
pollutions
Change the noun form
pollution
show examples
thanks to
it
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
matural
Correct your spelling
natural
financial cycles, numerous inhabitants and travellers
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there. For
exapmle
Correct your spelling
example
, traffic
congetion
Correct your spelling
congestion
always
happended
Correct your spelling
happens
in
metropolis
Add an article
the metropolis
a metropolis
show examples
and
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
show examples
air pollution
due to
the
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
for many travellers
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
and labours commute
consequently
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
citizens'
health
.
Although
contaminate
Replace the word
contamination
show examples
usual
Add a missing verb
is usual
show examples
in town, it have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better medical treatment and operation
thus
injured and
sickness
Replace the word
sick
show examples
persons are
preferred
Correct article usage
the preferred
show examples
surgeon in town rather than
Change preposition
in rual
show examples
rual
Correct your spelling
rural
rule
real
.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
is not a certain
reason
that living in
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
means
Verb problem
is
show examples
not good for
bodyhealth
Correct your spelling
body health
,
however
, other elements
such
as personal diet and living habits
also
are the reasons that effected
health
.
In other words
, a person who
smoke
Correct subject-verb agreement
smokes
show examples
,
consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
show examples
junk food
along with
no exercise routine
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
easily
caused
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
worse
health
performance
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
matter where the place he or she
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
. It is an individual pattern
Correct pronoun usage
that influenced
show examples
influenced
Wrong verb form
influences
show examples
their life. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
health
Add a missing verb
is effected
show examples
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
by various causes not only
reason
Correct article usage
the reason
show examples
of reside
Change preposition
for residing
show examples
in town. One of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
is the contamination in cities
since over
Change preposition
due to
show examples
population which is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
external
reason
. The internal
reason
is
perosnal
Correct your spelling
personal
living
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
including bad habits,
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
and dietary habits.
Submitted by llavina61 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure the ideas are logically ordered and paragraphing is clear, with a distinct introduction, full development in the body, and a summarising conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Present main ideas with relevant, detailed and extended development, using a range of linking devices to connect ideas within and across sentences systematically.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response with supporting ideas that are not only relevant but fully extended and well exemplified.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: