IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them. Do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishment should they be allowed ?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #sort
It is said that it is necessary for kids to understand the difference between
right
 and wrong at an early
age
. I agree with
this
 opinion.
Firstly
, teaching
right
 and wrong things to
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 at their first ages would form their personality and
this
 leads to making them a better person in future.
Secondly
, if kids learn true and false at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
, they will do
perfect
Change the word
perfectly
show examples
 and
accurate
Change the word
accurately
show examples
 in future and it will be helpful for society. Learning
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 things in
domestic
Add an article
a domestic
the domestic
show examples
 environment is better than facing
this
 in society at an older
age
. In my opinion, only verbal punishment can be allowed to teach good
manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
show examples
 to children. I disagree with
hiting
Correct your spelling
hitting
hiding
 and other ways of punishment.
Teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
Teachers
show examples
 and parents should only talk to kids and explain
right
 and wrong. If
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not listen to their mother and father or their
tracher
Correct your spelling
teacher
tracker
then
 tutors can speak to them
agressively
Correct your spelling
aggressively
.
To conclude
,
for having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
 better character
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in elder
Correct your spelling
an older
show examples
age
 and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 perfectly in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
, children ought to be taught good and bad.
Also
, verbal punishment can only be allowed.
Submitted by kk.1379 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Develop a clear paragraph structure with introductions, supporting points, and conclusions for each idea presented. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to establish the main idea clearly and concisely. Avoid general statements and strive for specificity.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that the response directly and fully addresses the question. Expand on points with clear and relevant examples and reasons. Strengthen your argument by exploring different perspectives and ensuring balance in the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!