the charts bellow show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019

the charts bellow show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019
The given line graph illustrates the trends in ownership of electrical appliances,
such
as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
washing machines,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
, and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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, and
time consuming
Wrong verb form
consumption
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
housework in households in one country from 1920 to 2019. The units are measured in
percentage
of households per
year
and
number
of
hours
per
week
every
year
.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that electrical
appliances
Change the noun form
appliance
show examples
owners were increasing dramatically,
whereas
the
number
of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
spent on housework was declining gradually. The first line graph depicts trends
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
electrical
appliances
Change the noun form
appliance
show examples
ownership. In 1920, there were no households
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
owned a refrigerator, but the following
year
these ownerships
were soaring
Wrong verb form
soared
show examples
and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
peak in 1980 at 100
percent
then
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
steady until 2019. Vacuum cleaners stood at 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 1920
then
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
moderately and reached 100
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
and unchanged in 2019.
Last
, washing machines started
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
highest
percentage
compared with others, at 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 1920 and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the highest
percentage
in 1940.
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
1960, it had the same
percentage
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
at 70
percent
. Even though witnessed a decline in 1980 at around 65
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, it bounced back to
rose
Correct article usage
a rose
show examples
and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
above 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 2019. Meanwhile, the
number
of
hours
per
week
decreased gradually from the initial
year
until 2019. Stood at 50
hours
per
week
in 1920 and in 1960 the
number
of
hours
fell more than half.
Finally
, in 1980 the
hours
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
steady to 2019 at just above 10
hours
per
week
.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, year, number, hours, week, percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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