Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Information
sharing with or without paying
fee
Add an article
the fee
a fee
show examples
is now controversial. A part of crowds
advocates
Correct subject-verb agreement
advocate
show examples
that spreading out
information
may bring beneficial aspects to society, but in my point of view, I still support the view that some important and valuable
knowledge
might not be leaked without cash. On the first hand, some crowds’ opinion is to share some
knowledge
related to science, business and academy in lack of charging, For the individuals, they can
easy to
Replace the word
easily
show examples
get access through some kinds of searching engine that help them in studying or researching. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, schools which allow their students
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
for searching may help them to make their homework or presentations
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
and
perfectly
Change the word
perfect
show examples
.
Besides
that, society can be more knowledgeable when all residents can exchange and receive news and
knowledge
,
whereas
scientific research may be facilitated to discover new topics because of the sufficiency of
information
.
On the other hand
, I agree with the statement that paying fees is essential when accessing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some valuable and important sources of
knowledge
.
This
can be proved because
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
of many
information’s
Change noun form
information
show examples
sources are uncountable given that they were discovered after hard work and endless efforts of a team or a company.
For instance
, to make a Cambridge dictionary with a huge amount of words and their synonym,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Cambridge University have to work dedicatedly for a long period of time.
Besides
that, leaking
information
may
threat
Replace the word
threaten
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries’ security too. As an example, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secret political
information
is leaked to
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
, both
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
and its residents have to face up with much problems and dangers. In conclusion,
although
many people suppose that beneficial
information
should be spread for society free, I strongly believe that vital and valuable
knowledge
should not be shared without charging fees.
Submitted by nguyencamnhi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each part should be distinct and serve its purpose. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into arguments, and the conclusion wraps everything up.
cohesion
Improve logical connectivity and transitions between sentences and paragraphs for a smoother flow of ideas. Use linking words effectively but not excessively.
development
The main points should be fully developed with explanations and examples. Avoid general statements and strive to give detailed information that supports your arguments.
task response
To cover the task fully, make sure to address all aspects of the prompt. Provide a balanced discussion of both views and a clear personal opinion, with examples where possible.
examples
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. Provide concrete evidence or scenarios that directly relate to the arguments you are making.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: