Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. in what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative?
These days,
technology
has changed the majority of people's communication considerably. individuals have been given this
chance to make new relationships through media which has stemmed from improving technology
. In my opinion, this
trend's upsides are more than its downsides. In this
essay, I will consider both arguments and discuss them.
In recent decades, there is no denying the fact that technology
has been developing faster and it offers society numerous ways to contact with
each other conveniently and remotely. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, with the explosion of social media folks all around the world can interact with their loved ones online by video chat or typing through diverse websites or applications, such
as Instagram, Telegram, and Snapchat. Therefore
, technology
provides this
opportunity for the whole world to strengthen their relationships and also
they can find a lot of new friends.
However
, besides
technology
's pros, it can influence our lives negatively. As individuals tend to communicate online the rate of face-to-face or physical interaction has become far less than before this
development. Moreover
, it may cause each person Fix the infinitive
to have
have
a sense of loneliness. Fix the infinitive
to have
Consequently
, it leads them to be depressed. As a result
, the online relationship can not be a beneficial alternative to eye-to-eye interaction.
In conclusion, it is apparent that this
kind of communication despite its benefits can be harmful to our mental health. So that
, they should balance between reaching out together Correct determiner usage
apply
by
modern Change preposition
through
technology
and traditional ways.Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on
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introduction conclusion present
While your introduction and conclusion are present, it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that more explicitly outlines your position on the impact of technology on relationships. Aim to set a clear roadmap for the essay in your introduction.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical structure, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to use a wider variety of linking phrases to enhance the coherence of your writing.
supported main points
You have provided some main points to support your arguments, yet these could be strengthened by providing more detailed examples and elaboration to better demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
complete response
While your essay addresses the task, it could provide a more balanced consideration of the positive and negative aspects, along with more in-depth exploration and examples for each. Develop your ideas more thoroughly and ensure that your response directly addresses all parts of the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are relevant, but they are not always expressed comprehensively. Strive for greater clarity and depth in presenting your opinions and make sure that your reasoning is fully developed so that the reader can easily understand your point of view.
relevant specific examples
Your use of examples is a good start, however, they lack specificity and depth. Utilize specific, relevant examples that clearly support your points and are directly related to the question at hand.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.