Despite better access to education, some adults are not able to read or write. What are the main disadvantages of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Nowadays, education development has been spread widely. Unfortunately, some seniors are still not able to read or write.
This
situation causes several drawbacks, such
as finding it hard to get a job and has a bad impact on their generation. This
essay will show those noticeable disadvantages and give some tackles to overcome them.
The main major problems that may be happening are the increasing number of jobless and having a bad influence on their children. Despite oral skills, reading and writing are also
basic skills in life as those are the essential needs to communicate with others in both personal and professional life. Missing these abilities would decrease their personal quality and affect the opportunities to get an occasion. For example
, the drivers would be confused in deciding which route is needed to pass due to
they could not read the sign in the T-junction. Moreover
, adults with this
condition might find it hard to teach their nature to read and write. So the members of the family would be of the same poor quality as them.
To overcome this
problem, governments should make a literature legacy and do social-learning activities, in collaboration with social organisations, that could improve those skills. The legacy is to fulfil people's right to get the opportunity to have literation subjects not only in the formal class. In addition
, support from society to each other is needed. They could help others by making events that increase writing and reading competencies by practising lively methods. For example
, UNICEF, a non-government organisation, has the
campaign to teach how to write and read for a young generation in rural areas with Correct article usage
a
aim
of creating better generations in the future.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
the aim
although
mature people who did not have abilities to write and read would find it hard to get an opportunity to get a job and hard to make their generation become better people, these still be tackled by making literation regulations and creating social activity to teach others.Submitted by nirmalindah on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear context for the essay, but there are some awkward phrases such as "this situation causes several drawbacks" which could be more smoothly integrated into the text. Aim for more refined sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
Although the main points are logically structured, transitional phrases could be improved for better flow. For example, the phrase "the main major problems that may be happening are" could be simplified to "The main problems are."
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the connection between illiteracy and the impact on job opportunities with more detailed examples. This will help solidify your arguments.
task achievement
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that can be simplified for clarity such as "they could not read the sign in the T-junction" which could be "they cannot read road signs." A detailed proofreading would be beneficial.
task achievement
The essay effectively outlines the main disadvantages of adult illiteracy and proposes two viable solutions. This shows a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion which clearly frame the discussion. This adds a level of coherence to the overall structure.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as UNICEF's campaign, are used to support the arguments. This makes the proposed solutions more concrete and believable.
Your opinion
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