Young people who commit serious crimes, such as rubbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
argue that young
people
who commit serious
crimes
as
adults
such
as rubbery or a violent attack should be given a fair punishment without any discrimination.
Although
I fully support that notion,
however
, to some
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
, I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
it if the age of
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
young
people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
appropriate to be punished.
A
Correct article usage
The
show examples
same degree of punishment can only be carried out if the age of
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
people
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
considerably
Change the word
considerable
show examples
enough to accept the consequences of their own actions because they have full responsibility on their own to differentiate what are the good things and the wrong ones. If the
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
youngsters are underage
such
as below 17 years old, they should not receive the same treatment as
adults
who commit
crimes
. There is a possibility that they
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
confused about what they
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
,
thus
, the law should treat appropriately
underage
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
people
.
Underage commited
Correct your spelling
Underage-committed
young
people
should not be punished the same way as
adults
because they are much needed to get supervision
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
their parents or guardians.
Besides
, they still have a long way to go
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
their life journey ahead, so there is a higher chance and possibility that underage
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
committee
can fix
the
Change the word
their
show examples
past mistakes quicker than
adults
and be better
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
for society afterwards.
For
Change preposition
As
show examples
a suggestion, any underage young
people
who commit any level of
crimes
will be given back to their parents' supervision and will get weekly or
montly
Correct your spelling
monthly
moral training at
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
police station
nearby
Change preposition
near
show examples
their neighborhood. In conclusion, young
people
, especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
are underage should not be given the same consequences as
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
who commit
crimes
because they still need supervision and guidance from their parents or
guardian
Fix the agreement mistake
guardians
show examples
.
Submitted by pedrothedawn on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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