IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage case? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

In the past few years, the shortage of fresh
water
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 has become a global concern. The depletion of
this
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 natural resource has caused a lot of concern among
nations
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.
This
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 essay will first discuss the problems caused by the shortage of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 followed by various solutions to tackle
this
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 issue. First and foremost, one of the major problems caused by the scarcity of fresh
water
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 is the conflicts between
nations
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.
For instance
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, Ethiopia, Sudan and Egypt are fighting over the usage of
water
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 in the river Nile. Recently, India
also
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 broke the Indus
water
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 treaty with Pakistan which led to an increase in political constraints between the two countries. Another problem caused by the lack of adequate fresh
water
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 is the increase in the spread of
water
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-related diseases
such
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 as diarrhoea. People are consuming harmful
water
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due to
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 the unavailability of fresh
water
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 and
this
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 led to serious health problems. The most practical solution to
this
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 problem is a government-sponsored awareness campaign. An effective advertising campaign could warn of the dangers of the depletion of
this
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 natural resource and hopefully, raise awareness amongst the public that saving
water
Use synonyms
 is important for long-term survival.
For example
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, the U.K. recently lobbied their citizens to save
water
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 and
this
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 resulted in an increase in significant freshwaterwater resources.
In Addition
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 to
this
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, the U.N. should
also
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 encourage
nations
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 to come up with strategies to share fresh
water
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 in order to protect the world from future conflicts and wars. In conclusion, the limitation of fresh
water
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 is a huge problem and its consequences have become a global issue.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 issue can only be solved if
nations
Use synonyms
 move forward with a collaborative approach.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on some ideas and include more specific examples to support your points.
coherence
Make sure to use clearer connectors to link your ideas and paragraphs, this would improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Consider adding a few more sentences to demonstrate how solutions could work practically, enhancing the depth of your argument.
coherence
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well, outlining the problems and solutions.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, like the Nile conflict and health issues, which illustrate your points well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • freshwater
  • scarcity
  • waterborne diseases
  • sanitation
  • hygiene
  • food security
  • agriculture
  • economic growth
  • industrial processes
  • ecological imbalance
  • biodiversity
  • wetlands
  • aquifers
  • social unrest
  • resources management
  • sustainable practices
  • desalination
  • rainwater harvesting
  • water conservation
  • efficient usage
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