It is suggested that everyone wants to own a car, a TV and a fridge. Do the disadvantages to society outweigh the advantages?

#car #tv #fridge #society

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Undoubtedly, in

this

modern era, a number of modifications have taken place in the nation.

Due to

this

, everyone wants to own a technical

devices

Fix the agreement mistake

device

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such

car

Correct article usage

a car

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, fridge

and a tv

Correct your spelling

or TV

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Thus

, the disadvantages to the community outweigh as far more than the advantages.

Firstly

, several factors are associated with it, but the main one is the lack of exercise. To illustrate, nowadays individuals spend their quality

Change preposition

apply

show examples

time

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apply

show examples

watching

Correct your spelling

show examples

smartphone

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smartphones

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and many more. Which can hold the

long

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

attention of the people. With

this

, they are suffering from different health hazards

such

as obesity, poor eyesight and muscle pain.

Also

, it

keep

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keeps

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people far away because when they invest a long hour on screen they do not have

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apply

show examples

time to speak evening with their family.

This

leads

conflicts

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to conflicts

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between them because of

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of communication.

Therefore

, not only

technical

Add a missing verb

does technical

show examples

gadgets

weaker

Replace the word

weaken

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the bonding of family members, but

also

Correct pronoun usage

they also

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

cause environmental problems.

For instance

, in

this

21th

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21st

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century, everyone wants to own their personal card,

due

Correct word choice

and due

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this

emission

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emissions

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toxic

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of toxic

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gases are increasing at

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show examples

alarming rate

such

corbon

Correct your spelling

carbon

dioxide and other.

Secondly

fridge

Add an article

the fridge

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very

Add an article

a very

the very

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crucial gadget which can contain

the

Correct determiner usage

all

show examples

sort

Fix the agreement mistake

sorts

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of food for

a weeks

Correct the article-noun agreement

a week

weeks

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. To explain, a survey was conducted by Cambridge University which concluded that nearly 70 per cent of individuals are working and they prefer to cook their food in advance and store it in the refrigerator for a long time.

Apart from

this

, televisions are

the

Correct article usage

show examples

source of enjoyment and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

also

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

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to entertain

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

family members without going out.

Last

but not least, in bygone days, the masses

face

Wrong verb form

faced

show examples

difficulties

to travel

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in traveling

show examples

from one place to another, but now navigating become easier with the help of cars.

To conclude

although

technical developments

such

as cars,

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show examples

and

fridge

Fix the agreement mistake

fridges

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make

individuals

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individuals'

individual's

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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easier,

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

also

puts

Verb problem

have

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detrimental effects on nature

as well as

on human

beings

Change noun form

beings'

being's

show examples

health.

Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on Mon Dec 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay contains an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the main points should be more developed and transitions between them could be smoother.

task achievement

Specific examples to illustrate your points are sparse and sometimes not entirely relevant. Try to include more detailed examples that directly support your arguments to enhance clarity and effectiveness.

task achievement

The response somewhat addresses the prompt, but it is important to ensure all parts of the task are fully covered. Your essay could have examined both advantages and disadvantages more thoroughly and provided a more balanced view before reaching the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Please pay attention to grammatical range and accuracy. Errors in sentence structure, article usage, and prepositions are noticeable and reduce the clarity of your writing.

coherence cohesion

Lastly, please ensure that you write a clear thesis statement in your introduction and that this thesis is reflected in your conclusion. This will help in improving the overall logical structure and coherence of your essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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It is suggested that everyone wants to own a car, a TV and a fridge. Do the disadvantages to society outweigh the advantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction, causing high levels of water and air pollution. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

Some people think that teachers are no longer needed because students can study via the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people believe that advertising has negative effects on consumers. To what extent do you agree?

Some are of the opinion that children below the age of 12 shouldn’t be allowed to have a mobile phone. Others believe that mobile phones are a useful tool for children of all ages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.