IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More and more people no longer read newspapers or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

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There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of
news
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.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that
newspapers
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 or TV programs can be used to get
news
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 in the future, I would argue that
people
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 tend to get worldwide
news
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 from the internet. I will explain my reasons in
this
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 essay. There is no doubt that a number of paper-based magazines and
newspapers
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 might affect the environment negatively.
This
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 is because
people
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 cut down trees in order to produce paper to make
newspapers
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 which can decrease the trees around the world.
For example
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, a report in the New York Times showed that 60% decrease in the number of forests because
people
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 cut trees to produce
newspapers
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 more than books.
As a result
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,
newspapers
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 might have a negative effect on the environment. It is worth pointing out that using media platforms online is convenient for
people
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’s lifestyles.
This
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 is based on the fact that
people
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 will receive the
news
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 in
real time
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real-time
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 and fast.
Also
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, they can be aware of the real problems that will happen.
For instance
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, a report in Japan showed that the application alert on the internet can show the weather forecast to inform
people
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, and they will know when it’s raining, heatwave or a storm.
Consequently
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, there is can help
people
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 know the
news
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 right away, and
this
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 is a real connection between what they can be aware of in any situation that happens in real life. In conclusion, we can observe that
people
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 will be reading online
news
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instead
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 of the traditional one.
Overall
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, I firmly believe that
this
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 is a positive trend.

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Language Use
To enhance your score, try to vary your sentence structures more and work on using a wider range of vocabulary, especially synonyms for words you tend to repeat.
Coherence
Make sure every paragraph clearly ties back to your main argument. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence that signals what the paragraph will argue or explain.
Content & Examples
When providing examples, it's beneficial to not only describe them but also explicitly connect them back to your argument. This makes your reasoning clearer and more compelling.
Structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively framed your essay's argument.
Use of Examples
You made a strong effort to support your points with specific examples, notably the New York Times report and the situation in Japan.
Cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical flow, smoothly transitioning from one idea to the next, which enhances its overall coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • real-time updates
  • diverse perspectives
  • user engagement
  • interactivity
  • subscription
  • traditional media
  • fake news
  • misinformation
  • deforestation
  • customization
  • social isolation
What to do next:
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